


I can't deal with emotions so I text instead

by Yesterdays_worms



Category: Heathers (1988), Heathers: The Musical - Murphy & O'Keefe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Duke isn't a total bitch, F/F, Gen, Group chat, I'm Bad At Tagging, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, JD isn't psycotic, No Lesbians Die, Probably ooc, Slow To Update, Swearing, Texting, absolutely not, and neither is Chandler, and writing block, for now, is anybody straight?, like a lot, maybe later though, my new favourite tag, no beta we die like men, no ships, they'll be slow because of school
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-24
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:27:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 14,643
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27175879
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yesterdays_worms/pseuds/Yesterdays_worms
Summary: Traffic Lights1:18pm 15th SeptCornnuts added Ihavethebraincell to the conversationCornnuts:It’s been three weeksIhavethebraincell:since what????Thegrinch:dw heathers just a cryptic texter half the timeThegrinch:shes referring to when you joined us in hellIhavethebraincell:oh coolGoldenretriever:Hi Ronnie!!!!!Ihavethebraincell:hey mac!!!Ihavethebraincell:very noice usernameGoldenretriever:Thx!!!!!!!!
Relationships: Betty Finn & Veronica Sawyer, Heather Chandler & Heather Duke, Heather Chandler & Heather Duke & Heather McNamara, Heather Chandler & Heather Duke & Heather McNamara & Veronica Sawyer, Heather Chandler & Heather McNamara, Heather Chandler & Veronica Sawyer, Heather Chandler/Veronica Sawyer, Heather Duke & Veronica Sawyer, Heather Duke/Heather McNamara, Heather McNamara & Veronica Sawyer, Jason "J. D." Dean & Betty Finn, Jason "J. D." Dean & Martha Dunnstock, Jason "J. D." Dean & Martha Dunnstock & Betty Finn & Veronica Sawyer, Jason "J. D." Dean & Veronica Sawyer, Martha Dunnstock & Veronica Sawyer
Comments: 23
Kudos: 209





	1. hell excepts its group chats

**Author's Note:**

> Here is a list of characters and their usernames.  
> Veronica - Ihavethebraincell  
> Heather C - Cornnuts  
> Heather D - Thegrinch  
> Heather M - Goldenretriever  
> JD - Feralchild  
> Martha - Martha<3  
> Betty - Notasferalchild  
> Kurt - Footballstar  
> Ram - Itscominghome

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here are relevant character usernames for this chapter  
> Veronica - Ihavethebraincell  
> Heather C - Cornnuts  
> Heather D - Thegrinch  
> Heather M - Goldenretriever  
> JD - Feralchild  
> Martha - Martha<3  
> Betty - Notasferalchild

**Traffic Lights**  
**1:18pm 15th Sept**  
**Cornnuts added Ihavethebraincell to the conversation**

**Cornnuts:** It’s been three weeks

 **Ihavethebraincell:** since what????

 **Thegrinch:** dw heathers just a cryptic texter half the time

 **Thegrinch:** shes referring to when you joined us in hell

 **Ihavethebraincell:** oh cool

 **Goldenretriever:** Hi Ronnie!!!!!

 **Ihavethebraincell:** hey mac!!!

 **Ihavethebraincell:** very noice username

 **Goldenretriever:** Thx!!!!!!!!

 **Cornnuts:** FJSHJKFHJSHJHFGHJH

 **Cornnuts:** EXCUSE ME

 **Cornnuts:** MY USERNAME IS FUCKING AMAZING

 **Thegrinch:** its about fucking corn nuts

 **Ihavethebraincell:** urs is about the grinch tho?

 **Thegrinch:** yeah cos i despise christmas like the grinch

 **Thegrinch:** heather just likes corn nuts

 **Ihavethebraincell:** lmao why do u not like christmas

 **Thegrinch:** cos my extended family are annoying as fuck and i hate them

 **Ihavethebraincell:** reasonable

 **Cornnuts:** Me and grinch girl chose heathers username as she is pure innocence and to wholesome for this cruel world

 **Thegrinch:** *grinch girl and i

 **Cornnuts:** Fuck you grinch binch

**Thegrinch changed their username to Grinchbinch**

**Grinchbinch:** thank you for referring to me as my full name

 **Goldenretriever:** Lol you all think Im innocent

 **Goldenretriever:** Jokes on you Im a bastard

 **Goldenretriever:** Anyway whats your userbame supposed to mean

 **Grinchbinch:** userbame

 **Goldenretriever:** I cant believe that this is where our friendship ends

 **Grinchbinch:** bruv u wish

 **Cornnuts:** Did you just say bruv

 **Cornnuts:** BRUV

 **Grinchbinch:** ye

 **Goldenretriever:** Let Veronica answer the question about her username!!!!

 **Ihavethebraincell:** lol its cos me,jd and betty have like one braincell and i have it most the time

 **Ihavethebraincell:** hence my 2000iq

 **Cornnuts:** What about dumptruck

 **Ihavethebraincell:** firstly dunnstock secondly shes a funtual human being unlike betty whos fucking feral, jd whose an angsty emo and me whos just sad

 **Cornnuts:** Right whatever then i forget calling her that gets you all riled up

 **Ihavethebraincell:** yea cos shes my friend

 **Grinchbinch:** oOF

 **Grinchbinch:** destroy her ass ronnie

 **Cornnuts:** Shut up Heather

 **Grinchbinch:** sorry heather

**Snurch**  
**1:38pm 15th Sept**

**Ihavethebraincell:** hi welcome to another episode of im regretting all of my life choices that lead up to where i am rn

 **Feralchild:** oof sucks to be u

 **Martha <3:** Oh no Ronnie, what did you do?

 **Martha <3:** And that’s not nice JD! What is she’s in serious trouble!

 **Feralchild:** im sure shes fine like the worst that could happen is an accidental murder

 **Notasferalchild:** How tf can a murder be accidental

 **Notasferalchild:** Like murder is intentanal 

**Feralchild:** fine if it was accidental it wouldve been manslaughter

 **Martha <3:**We are going off topic!

 **Martha <3:** Ok so Ronnie, what’s happened?

 **Ihavethebraincell:** its nothing serious im just questioning why i chose to join the heathers

 **Notasferalchild:** questioning that as well

 **Ihavethebraincell:** like one minute were just chatting and then the next duke and chandler are in mood with eachother while me and mac just kinda stand there unsure of what to do

 **Ihavethebraincell:** and then theyll insult one of youse and then be surprised when im upset 

**Ihavethebraincell:** its just really draining being friends with them

 **Ihavethebraincell:** well friend is a bit of a stretch their more like coworkers and our job is being popular and shit

 **Martha <3:** I’m sorry you feel like that Ronnie. Just remember that we’re always here for you [heart emoji x3]

 **Ihavethebraincell:** thanks yall

 **Notasferalchild:** omg jds rubbing off on u

 **Notasferalchild:** dont become southern on me bitch

 **Feralchild:** no join me in the depths of hell

 **Martha <3:** Hey are you all able to hang out tonight?

 **Ihavethebraincell:** yep

 **Notasferalchild:** u see ronnie that is how you refer to everybody

 **Notasferalchild:** and ye im able to hang

 **Feralchild:** i aint got nothing else to do so ill come

 **Martha <3:** Okie dokie! Should we meet at the park at 4pm?

 **Martha <3:** We would be able to hang at mine but it’s my turn to walk Lenny so… yeah.

 **Ihavethebraincell:** thats cool well meet there then

 **Notasferalchild:** am gonna steal ur dog martha

 **Ihavethebraincell:** betty no

 **Notasferalchild:** betty yes

 **Martha <3:** Don’t worry Betty, I’ll let you walk Lenny :).

 **Notasferalchild:** hgfdhgshjdgfhjdsgddhj

 **Notasferalchild:** martha what did i do to deserve you

 **Martha <3:** Being my friend.

 **Notasferalchild:** ok im just going to happy cry goodbye

 **Martha <3:** Nooooo don’t cry

**Traffic Lights**  
**3:05pm 15th Sept**

**Cornnuts:** @Ihavethebraincell Tonight

 **Ihavethebraincell:** ???????

 **Grinchbinch:** she just want you over at hers tonight

 **Ihavethebraincell:** oh thx

 **Ihavethebraincell:** sorry cant me martha betty and jd already have plans

 **Cornnuts:** delete them

 **Ihavethebraincell:** my friends or the plans????????

 **Cornnuts:** Both

 **Cornnuts:** Preferably 

**Cornnuts deleted two messages**

**Ihavethebraincell:** i saw them

**Cornnuts deleted Ihavethebraincell’s message**

**Cornnuts:** The plans

 **Cornnuts:** Delete the plans

 **Ihavethebraincell:** right…

 **Ihavethebraincell:** that isnt going to happen

 **Ihavethebraincell:** ive flaked on them enough times already from joining your little lipgloss gestapo

 **Cornnuts:** Fine then tomorrow morning your history

 **Cornnuts:** Unless you can convince me otherwise ;)

 **Ihavethebraincell:** ok then… 

**Ihavethebraincell:** tf

**Cornnuts kicked Ihavethebraincell out of Traffic Lights**

**Cornnuts:** Fuck

 **Cornnuts:** Fuck fuck fuck fuck

 **Goldenretriever:** Heather…

 **Goldenretriever:** You shouldnt have done that

 **Cornnuts:** I KNOW I SHLOULDNR HAVE DOME THAT

 **Grinchbinch:** here we see the texts between a useless lesbian and her calm friend 2020 colourized 

**Cornnuts:** SHUT UP HEATHER

 **Grinchbinch:** sorry heather

 **Cornnuts:** YKNOW WHAT FUCK IT IF SHE REALLY WANTS TO BE IN THE HEATHERS THEN SHE BETTER FUCKING COME AND BEG

**Snurch**  
**4:30pm 15th Sept**

**Martha <3:** Betty stop yelling

 **Notasferalchild:** THIS FUCKER HAS NO GAG REFLEXE 

**Feralchild:** reflexe

 **Notasferalchild:** U DONT GET TO SPEAK U DEEP THROAT FUCKER

 **Feralchild:** how tf else are u supposed to eat an ice lollie

 **Notasferalchild:** FUCKING BITING IT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON

 **Ihavethebraincell:** who tf bites a ice lolly

 **Feralchild:** WHO THE FUCK DOESNT 

**Ihavethebraincell:** M E B I C T H

 **Martha <3:** Betty I don’t think most people bite ice lollies

 **Notasferalchild:** well fuck them there doing it wrong

 **Notasferalchild:** the only person who is allowed to not bite ice lollies is lenny

 **Feralchild:** the only valid licker tbh

 **Feralchild:** wait

 **Feralchild:** no

 **Ihavethebraincell:** image01.jpg  
[JD is sat on a bench with a fruit pastel ice lolly in his mouth looking at his phone, eyebrows furrowed]

 **Notasferalchild:** in fuvking cxackling 

**Notasferalchild:** amd distgustaed tha u can fit a entire ice lol in ur mouth

 **Martha <3:** Is it not hurting your mouth at all?

 **Martha <3:** Like they’re really thick

 **Feralchild:** theyre dummy thicc

 **Ihavethebraincell:** im just going to start carrying around a spray bottle of soapy water so i can spray u when u say shit like this

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Marthas dog is a frenchie and is very much based off my dog of the same name


	2. an apology

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Traffic Lights**   
>  **8:15am 16th Sept**
> 
> **Cornnuts:** Fuck
> 
> **Cornnuts:** Ronnies not come to apologize yet
> 
> **Cornnuts:** I really dont want to have to make the whole school turn against her
> 
> **Grinchbinch:** oh heather heres a grand idea
> 
> **Grinchbinch:** how about u appollogize to ronnie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here are the relevent usernames for this chapter  
> Veronica - Ihavethebraincell  
> Heather C - Cornnuts  
> Heather D - Grinchbinch  
> Heather M - Goldenretriever  
> JD - Feralchild  
> Martha - Martha<3  
> Betty - Notasferalchild  
> Kurt - Footballstar  
> Ram - Itscominghome

**Traffic Lights**   
**8:15am 16th Sept**

**Cornnuts:** Fuck

**Cornnuts:** Ronnies not come to apologize yet

**Cornnuts:** I really dont want to have to make the whole school turn against her

**Grinchbinch:** oh heather heres a grand idea

**Grinchbinch:** how about u appollogize to ronnie

**Goldenretriever:** Yeah Heather I think its best if you just apologize

**Cornnuts:** But if i apologize thattll take a hit at my rep

**Grinchbinch:** oh for the love of god heather

**Grinchbinch:** Just fucking apologize

**Cornnuts:** But how

**Cornnuts:** Like ice never had to apologize before

**Cornnuts:** Except when ive pissed off my parents

**Goldenretriever:** Ok Heather literally just take her aside at lunch and say youre sorry and that you will not insult her friends anymore

**Goldenretriever:** And boom shes back sitting with us

**Grinchbinch:** and we dont have to listen to you be a useless lesbien

**Cornnuts:** Shut up heather

**Grinchbinch:** sorry heather

**8:30am 16th Sept**   
**Footballstar made a new group chat**   
**Footballstar named the group chat Wtf is up with Veronica**   
**Footballstar added Itscominghome to the conversation**   
**Footballstar added Cornnuts to the conversation**   
**Footballstar added Grinchbinch to the conversation**   
**Footballstar added Goldenretriever to the conversation**

**Footballstar:** why isn't veronica with u guys

**Itscominghome:** Yeah shes hanging out with dumptruck trenchcoat and that other one

**Cornnuts:** Its nothing you two need to know about

**Grinchbinch:** wtf is rams username

**Grinchbinch:** like kurts i get but rams

**Itscominghome:** https://youtu.be/RJqimlFcJsM

**Goldenretriever:** Ram buddy thats a song about the english soccer team 

**Itscominghome:** Its still about football

**Cornnuts:** Its about soccer you single cell dip shit

**Footballstar:** You lot never answered our question on veronica

**Cornnuts:** Tf you call this _**Cornnuts:** Its nothing you two need to know about_

**Footballstar:** You being difficult

**Cornnuts:** I am going to shatter your knee caps

**Footballstar:** I’d like to see u try

**Cornnuts:** Kurt bitch I have 10 inch stilettos that I once kicked Mac with accidentally and she needed stitches

**Goldenretriever:** Didn’t your parents throw those away after that

**Cornnuts:** I dug them out of the trash

**Cornnuts:** They had gained sentimental value from me digging them into your shins

**Grinchbinch:** this is why u need mental help

**Cornnuts:** Literally only u think that

**Grinchbinch:** youll be surprised that how many people disagree

**Goldenretriever:** Hey guys just so yall know kurt and ram have gone offline

**Cornnuts:** finally fucking rambling worked

**Grinchbinch:** u didnt plan shit

**Snurch**   
**1:20pm 16th Sept**

**Notasferalchild:** hey ronnie why u not sat with the literal demons

**Ihavethebraincell:** oh yeah ive officially resigned from being their little forgery girl

**Ihavethebraincell:** also where tf are u i cant see you

**Notasferalchild:** image_02.jpg  
[The image is taken from a set of stairs overlooking a canteen with the camera pointing to a small cafeteria area partially covered by the floor above. Veronica and Martha are sat near the back of the cafeteria talking and the Heathers are sat near the front also talking with Heather Chandler noticeably looking at Veronica and Martha]

**Notasferalchild:** me an jd are getting food

**Notasferalchild:** ih sjot phkefms seem me om mtpgone

**Feralchild:** video_01.mov  
[The video shows miss. Fleming stood about halfway up the stairs saying, “Miss. Finn give me your phone, you know the school's policy on mobile phones.” There's silence as Betty, off-screen, and Miss. Fleming, with her hand out expecting Betty’s phone, staring at each other. Fast footsteps are heard from behind the camera and Miss. Fleming began to head up the stairs shouting, “Betty Finn get back here! You are going to have a week's detention!”]

**Feralchild:** rip betty

**Notasferalchild:** duck u bsstrd tat

**Feralchild:** sorry what was that

**Notasferalchild:** fuck u bastard rat

**Martha <3:** Betty that took you 5 minutes to write. Are you still running?

**Notasferalchild:** nah i ran to d block bathroom

**Martha <3:** Why didn’t you just give her your phone?

**Notasferalchild:** it will be a cold day in hell before i give phlegm the satisfaction of taking my phone off me

**Ihavethebraincell:** honestly surprised our grades not made her have a mental breakdown yet

**Notasferalchild:** bold of u to assume we havent

**Ihavethebraincell:** good point

**Martha <3:** I’m going to keep JD company in the line

**Traffic Lights**   
**1:32pm 16th Sept**

**Goldenretriever:** Right Heather just go and apologize to Ronnie now

**Goldenretriever:** Marthas gone somewhere so shes alone

**Grinchbinch:** stop being a pussy

**Grinchbinch:** cos when u finally get into a girls pants we dont want canibalism

**Cornnuts:** this is why ur single

**Grinchbinch:** nah im single cos most the girls that go here are homophobic as fuck

**Goldenretriever:** Go

**Goldenretriever:** And

**Goldenretriever:** Apologize

**Snurch**   
**1:41pm 16th Sept**

**Feralchild:** where te fuck are u ronnie

**Feralchild:** me and martha have been sat at our table for like 5 minutes

**Ihavethebraincell:** yeah sorry heather came over and apologized for some shit and practically forced me to re join the heathers

**Ihavethebraincell:** so now were just chilling in the c block bathrooms and heather making me watch rwby

**Notasferalchild:** which heathers

**Notasferalchild:** we dont who tf ur talking about when u dont yse their last names

**Ihavethebraincell:** chandler and mac 

**Notasferalchild:** ah yes demon™ and literal sunshine™

**Notasferalchild:** anyway do any of you have mr edwards for history as i have homework due next period that i havent done

**Martha <3:** We sit right next to each other in the class and I’m sat right next to you right now.

**Martha <3:** Why didn’t you just ask me?

**Notasferalchild:** i spent all of that class asleep and i only found out about the homework when i got the reminder email when i was in the bathroom

**Feralchild:** mood

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I should probably say here that I'm not American and the American school system confuses me
> 
> also notes for this fic I'm gonna mention  
> \- heather Mac watches rwby   
> \- Betty used to be friends with Mac but grew apart freshmen year hence why she knows Mac is a literal sunshine  
> \- as I don't know how American school schedules work so im just gonna use my school schedule  
> \- I also have height head canons which im going to share  
>  \- Veronica = 6'0  
>  \- Heather C = 5'8  
>  \- Heather D = 5'6  
>  \- Heather M = 5'0  
>  \- JD = 6'6  
>  \- Martha =5'7  
>  \- Betty =5'4  
>  \- Kurt = 5'9  
>  \- Ram = 6'3


	3. The Gays

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Traffic Lights**   
>  **2:50pm 16th Sept**   
>  **Cornnuts added Ihavethebraincell to the conversation**
> 
> **Cornnuts:** My car
> 
>  **Ihavethebraincell:** im just gonna asssume you want me to meet you at your car after school
> 
>  **Grinchbinch:** wow its learning
> 
>  **Grinchbinch:** also
> 
>  **Grinchbinch:** asssume 
> 
> **Ihavethebraincell:** image_03.jpg  
> [The image is the blinking man meme]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is literally just Heather C being the most iconic gay ever, of all time
> 
> also here are the relevent usernames for this chapter  
> Veronica - Ihavethebraincell  
> Heather C - Cornnuts  
> Heather D - Grinchbinch  
> Heather M - Goldenretriever  
> JD - Feralchild  
> Martha - Martha<3  
> Betty - Notasferalchild  
> Kurt - Footballstar  
> Ram - Itscominghome

**Traffic Lights**  
**2:50pm 16th Sept**  
**Cornnuts added Ihavethebraincell to the conversation**

**Cornnuts:** My car

 **Ihavethebraincell:** im just gonna asssume you want me to meet you at your car after school

 **Grinchbinch:** wow its learning

 **Grinchbinch:** also

 **Grinchbinch:** asssume 

**Ihavethebraincell:** image_03.jpg  
[The image is the blinking man meme]

**3:01pm**

**Ihavethebraincell:** right so are yall going to tell me why im wanted at the queens car

 **Cornnuts:** We’re going to the mall cos you have like 2 outfits

 **Ihavethebraincell:** ah ok

**3:02pm 16th Sept**  
**Cornnuts created a new group chat**  
**Cornnuts named the group chat Im a useless lesbian**  
**Cornnuts added Grinchbinch to the conversation**  
**Cornnuts added Goldenretriever to the conversation**

**Grinchbinch:** so ur finally admitting it 

**Cornnuts:** I already have

 **Grinchbinch:** u haven

 **Grinchbinch:** ive called u a lesbian but youve not

 **Cornnuts:** Shut up smart ass

 **Goldenretriever:** Why did you make this group chat

 **Cornnuts:** Because a veronica called me queen b im gay for veronica and c i have no fucking clue if she likes girls

 **Goldenretriever:** Just ask her

 **Cornnuts:** Hgdjhfghsdgfhjsgzxhjdfgshjkg

 **Cornnuts:** How the fuc am i supposed to just casually ask if she likes girls

 **Grinchbinch:** jast say u wanted to make sure she wasnt a straggot 

**Cornnuts:** Tf is a straggot

 **Grinchbinch:** A straight person who does or is one or more of the following: rape jokes, is addicted to puffs, says the n word, sexualizes everything, or is basic

 **Goldenretriever:** She didnt do any of those in the first place

 **Grinchbinch:** she couldve we didnt know her

 **Cornnuts:** U two riding with me and ronnie

 **Grinchbinch:** fuck no i cant leave my jeep at school

 **Goldenretriever:** I'm gonna ride with Heather

 **Goldenretriever:** Let you and Veronica get to know each other a bit more ;)

 **Cornnuts:** I cant believe i ever thought you were innocent

**Ihavethebraincel to Cornnuts**  
**3:07pm 16th Sept**

**Ihavethebraincell:** are we going or r u just going to stand out of the car looking pissed at ur phone

 **Cornnuts:** Sorry Kurt and Ram were texting me trying to get into my pants

 **Ihavethebraincell:** oof that sucks

 **Ihavethebraincell:** you know you can just block them

 **Cornnuts:** Ive tried but then they fucking mither me about constantly until i unblock them and its just not worth it

 **Ihavethebraincell:** just like ignore them fo a while and theyll stop

 **Ihavethebraincell:** thats why they barely bother me ive just ignored them since 7th grade 

**Cornnuts:** Im not that patient 

**Cornnuts:** Now talk to me bitch Im in the car and crave attention

**Snurch**  
**3:10pm 16th Sept**

**Notasferalchild:** ronica where te fuc r u

 **Ihavethebraincell:** with heather

 **Notasferalchild:** which one

 **Ihavethebraincell:** chandler sorry i forgot yall cant differentiate them

 **Notasferalchild:** i will pay you actual money to stop saying yall

 **Ihavethebraincell:** yall

 **Notasferalchild:** stop

 **Feralchild:** no dont stop

 **Notasferalchild:** i am going to shatter ur skull with bricks

 **Feralchild:** im over a foot taller than u

 **Feralchild:** u wouldnt be able to reach my head

 **Notasferalchild:** i will climb ur wilbur soot looking ass purely to cave in ur skull

 **Feralchild:** wilbur soot doesnt need to be insulted like that

 **Ihavethebraincell:** im gonna need a spray bottle for both of your asses

**Im a useless lesbian**  
**3:15pm 16th Sept**

**Cornnuts:** Jfghjsdfghjhsdfhgfj

 **Goldenretriever:** Heather wants to know if youve crashed

 **Cornnuts:** No

 **Cornnuts:** Im just really fucking gay

 **Goldenretriever:** we know, were all gay you fuck - Heather

 **Cornnuts:** Oh fuck we are

 **Goldenretriever:** We should rebrand to the gays™

**Cornnuts changed the group chats name to The Gays ™**

**Cornnuts:** Anyway

**Cornnuts:** Her laugh hjdfgfhgfhgs

**Goldenretriever:** We get your pining now focus on the road - Heather

**Cornnuts:** Fuck you

**3:30pm**

**Grinchbinch:** we should get lesbian pride flags

**Goldenretriever:** !!!!!!

**Goldenretriever:** We can get veronica to get a pride flag to see if she likes girls

**Cornnuts:** What is shes straight tho

**Goldenretriever:** She seems respectful im sure shell just go ‘oh im straight i dont want a flag’

**Grinchbinch:** or shes a straggot

**Cornnuts:** Stop shes not as straggot

**Grinchbinch:** shes a straggot until proven otherwise

**Goldenretriever:** Shes not a straggot

**Grinchbinch:** can i just insult people in peace

**Cornnuts:** Theres like 356 other people in our school you can insult

**Grinchbinch:** how tf do you know the exact number of people in our school excluding us and veronica

**Goldenretriver:** How do you

**Grinchbinch:** we were discussing layout for this years yearbook and someone said we need to fit 360 people in this year and i guess it stook idk

**Goldenretriever:** Weve been texting for 5 minutes and i want to get me a pride flag

**Traffic Lights **  
**3:36pm 16th Sept******

******Ihavethebraincell:** where we going** **

******Ihavethebraincell:** we not going into gucci or something expensive** **

******Cornnuts:** Were going to find pride flags** **

******Cornnuts:** Also ew guccis ugly as fuck** **

******Ihavethebraincell:** noice** **

******Ihavethebraincell:** jfk recked my old bi flag a bit ago and i never got round to getting a new one** **

******The Gays ™**  
**3:39pm 16th Sept** ** **

******Cornnuts:** Hfjgfhsgfhsdgfhfdshdjfgsdjghb** **

******Cornnuts:** She likes girls!!!** **

******Grinchbinch:** yes cool but who or what tf is jfk** **

******Goldenretriever:** Ill go ask** **

******Traffic Lights**  
<3:41pm 16th Sept** **

****Goldenretriever:** Hey Ronnie who is JFK**

****Ihavethebraincell:** oh ye hes my cat**

****Ihavethebraincell:** image_03.jpg  
[The image shows a chubby, grey, tabby cat asleep on a blue duvet on veronica’s bed]**

****Grinchbinch:** a heckin chonker**

****Grinchbinch:** my new son**

****The Gays ™**  
**3:43pm 16th Sept** **

****Cornnuts:** Why the fuck is her cat called jfk**

****Grinchbinch:** dont insult my new son**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> come shout at me about shit at my Tumblr which is se-lewis
> 
> also in England we don't have year books so im probably spewing bs on it needing to fit all the pupils in it
> 
> also also I have no clue why most of the text is tiny its just done that like I've checked all the html shit and its all right so I don't know what's happened


	4. minceraft

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Snurch**   
>  **9:30pm 16th Sept**
> 
> **Feralchild:** its [sparkling emoji]trauma[sparkling emoji] time
> 
>  **Martha <3:** Oh no! Where are you? I can come and comfort you if you want.
> 
>  **Feralchild:** its half 9 at night you dont need to go out of ur way for me
> 
>  **Feralchild:** its stupid anyway
> 
>  **Feralchild:** i dont want to be a burden

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> usernames for this chapter  
> Veronica - Ihavethebraincell  
> Heather C - Cornnuts  
> Heather D - Grinchbinch  
> Heather M - Goldenretriever  
> JD - Feralchild  
> Martha - Martha<3  
> Betty - Notasferalchild
> 
> also updates will be slower now because school starts again after the half term tomorrow but i will try to update atleast once a week

**Snurch**   
**9:30pm 16th Sept**

**Feralchild:** its [sparkling emoji]trauma[sparkling emoji] time

 **Martha <3:** Oh no! Where are you? I can come and comfort you if you want.

 **Feralchild:** its half 9 at night you dont need to go out of ur way for me

 **Feralchild:** its stupid anyway

 **Feralchild:** i dont want to be a burden

 **Martha <3:** Listen JD it’s ok. You’re not a burden and we are always here for you.

 **Feralchild:** ima fucking mess and i ont want yall to have to deal with me its fine

 **Ihavethebraincell:** jfc

 **Ihavethebraincell:** jd i am coming to ur house and u r going to tell me whats wrong

 **Feralchild:** u dont have to

 **Ihavethebraincell:** no fuk u i will help

 **ihavethebraincell:** ill be half an hour

**Feralchild to Ihavethebraincell**   
**9:35pm 16th Sept**

**Feralchild:** u dont have to do this

 **Ihavethebraincell:** yes i do

 **Ihavethebraincell:** now tell what the fuks happened

 **Feralchild:** itb wasnt that bad

 **Feralchild:** me and my dad just got into an argument it got loud im panicking and he was making fun of me for it

 **Feralchild:** as i said it wasnt that bad

**Traffic Lights**   
**9:38pm 16th Sept**

**Cornnuts:** Where u goin

 **Ihavethebraincell:** a friend needs help with something

 **Cornnuts:** Where u helping them ill give u a lift

 **Ihavethebraincell:** its not far i can walk its only half an hour

 **Cornnuts:** Im giving you a ride

 **Cornnuts:** Meet me at the 711 at the end of the road

 **Ihavethebraincell:** right ok then

**The Gays tm**   
**9:40pm 16th Sept**

**Grinchbinch:** this is getting more interesting than masterchef

 **Cornnuts:** Shut up heather let me be gay in peace

 **Grinchbinch:** sorry heather

**Feralchild to Ihavethebraincell:**   
**9:44pm 16th Sept**

**Feralchild:** veronica?

 **Feralchild:** its k if u decided im not worth it i get it

 **Ihavethebraincell:** no no no no no no no i am still coming heather just wanted to give me a ride

 **Ihavethebraincell:** ill be at urs in 4

**Snurch**   
**9:55pm 16th Sept**

**Martha <3:** Hey JD how are you feeling?

 **Feralchild:** better still shit tho

 **Ihavethebraincell:** were just playing minecraft now

 **Notasferalchild:** send me the server

 **Ihavethebraincell:** jd was talking about trauma and u remain silent yet as soon as minecraft is mentioned u make an appearance

 **Feralchild:** dont blame you

 **Feralchild:** whats ur microsoft username

 **Notasferalchild:** Thepanagenda

 **Feralchild:** cool ill send u the realm link

 **Traffic Lights**  
<9:59pm 16th Sept

 **Cornnuts:** Hows greece ass

 **Ihavethebraincell:** hes fine thanks for ride

 **Cornnuts:** No problem

 **Grinchbinch:** why u wif jd

 **Ihavethebraincell:** he needed help with something

 **Ihavethebraincell:** now were playing minecraft

 **Goldenretriever:** !!!

 **Goldenretriever:** Heather our old minecraft world

 **Grinchbinch:** !!!

 **Grinchbinch:** im gonna go and grab my laptop be back in 10

 **Snurch**  
<10:03pm 16th Sept

 **Feralchild:** just so yall know the server is my cousins and his friends are on it so if u see someone its one of them

 **Notasferalchild:** u have a cousin

 **Feralchild:** ye

 **Notasferalchild:** i dont like that

 **Notasferalchild:** how do i unlearn something

 **Ihavethebraincell:** betty most people have cousins

 **Notasferalchild:** but this is jd

 **Notasferalchild:** it doesnt seem right

 **Feralchild:** why is me having extended family so hard for you accept

 **Notasferalchild:** i dont knOW!

**Traffic Lights**   
**10:16pm 16th Sept**

**Grinchbinch:** im here im queer and im filled with existential fear

 **Grinchbinch:** now let me in the door has ben locked

 **Cornnuts:** Come round the back

 **Grinchbinch:** the gate is locked

 **Cornnuts:** Go back round the front

 **Grinchbinch:** its locked

 **Cornnuts:** Ill unlock it

 **Grinchbinch:** OH U FUCKER

 **Grinchbinch:** I SWEAR TO GOD IF MY LAPTO IS BROKEN UR BUYINGNME A NEW ONE

 **Ihavethebraincell:** i gues my username applies to yall as well

 **Goldenretriever:** Did you just say yall

 **Ihavethebraincell:** mayhaps

 **Cornnuts:** Hfgjkhsjhbljhgfjfhghjdfgskhjgdfhdfj

 **Grinchbinch:** IT LIVES

 **Grinchbinch:** U R SO LUCKY U OVERSIZED TWO YEAR OLD

 **Cornnuts:** Why didnt you just say whore or bitch or a normal insult

 **Grinchbinch:** cos im special

 **Ihavethebraincell:** what happened

 **Grinchbinch:** this hoe decided to fucking throw a shoe at me and i dropped my laptopo

 **Ihavethebraincell:** laptopo

 **Goldenretriever:** Does it still work

 **Grinchbinch:** _**Grinchbinch:** IT LIVES_

 **Goldenretriever:** Oh right

 **Ihavethebraincell:** is ur world still on there

 **Grinchbinch:** IT IS!!!!!!!!!

 **Cornnuts:** Ive not seen you this excited since ur brother moved out

 **Grinchbinch:** dont remind of that fucker

**Snurch**   
**10:26pm 16th Sept**

**Notasferalchild:** whos this bastard

 **Notasferalchild:** image_04.jpg  
[The image is a screenshot from a minecraft world with a player at the side in full diamond armor]

 **Feralchild:** its me

 **Feralchild:** check the gamertag

 **Notasferalchild:** oh it is

 **Notasferalchild:** sup rat man

 **Notasferalchild:** i cant believe this is where our frandship ends

 **Feralchild:** friendship

 **Notasferalchild:** i live like a 5 minute walk from urs so i can climb threw ur window and snap each of fingers

 **Ihavethebraincell:** tomorrow im gonna bring a spray bottle to school with me co i swear to god betty

 **Ihavethebraincell:** in fact u and jd swap usernames

 **Ihavethebraincell:** how did we ever think jd was less chaotic than u

**Notasferalchild changed their username to Feralchild**   
**Notasferalchild changed Feralchild’s username to Notasferalchild**

**Feralchild:** he brought agun to school thats why

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fics barely ever mention jds extended family so i took that as an opportunity for a joke
> 
> also i may or may not have used this to procrastinate on my dt homework


	5. trash can fires and pet stores

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Wtf is up with Veronica**   
>  **1:30pm 17th Sept**
> 
> **Cornnuts:** @Footballstar @Itscominghome why did you fuckers set the trash can on fire
> 
>  **Footballstar:** Aesthetic
> 
>  **Itscominghome:** To piss off phelgm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is a little shorter than usual but writers block has decided now is a wonderful time to kick in  
> relevant usernames for this chapter are:  
> Veronica - Ihavethebraincell  
> Heather C - Cornnuts  
> Heather D - Grinchbinch  
> Heather M - Goldenretriever  
> JD - Notasferalchild  
> Martha - Martha<3  
> Betty - Feralchild  
> Kurt - Footballstar  
> Ram - Itscominghome

**Wtf is up with Veronica**  
**1:30pm 17th Sept**

**Cornnuts:** @Footballstar @Itscominghome why did you fuckers set the trash can on fire

 **Footballstar:** Aesthetic

 **Itscominghome:** To piss off phelgm

 **Grinchbinch:** u have gotten all of our grade detention until u own up

 **Grinchbinch:** i cant believe this is the day ill commit knife crime

 **Goldenretriever:** How can they give 90 kids detention

 **Goldenretriever:** like they only have 1 teacher on detention duty each day

 **Goldenretriever:** 1 cant control 30 let alone 90

 **Cornnuts:** Ill get ronnie to forge us a note

**Traffic Lights**  
**1:34pm 17th Sept**

******Cornnuts:** Ronnie we need a note** **

******Ihavethebraincell:** what did u do** **

******Cornnuts:** We didnt do anything kurt and ram set fire to a trash can and the whole grade has detention until they own up** **

******Ihavethebraincell:** oof** **

******Ihavethebraincell:** ill get a note** **

******Cornnuts:** Thx** **

******Snurch**  
**1:37pm 17th Sept** ** **

******Ihavethebraincell:** meet me at the back entrance in 5 i need to hand yall to something** **

******Notasferalchild:** what is it** **

******Ihavethebraincell:** a note to get out of detenntion** **

******Feralchild:** detenntion** **

******Martha <3:** Why does JD have a detention?** **

******Notasferalchild:** i dont** **

******Ihavethebraincell:** the whole grade does cos kurt and ram set fire to a trash can** **

******Notasferalchild:** why did those dickwadss set fire to a bin** **

******Feralchild:** bin wtf stop pretending to be british** **

******Notasferalchild:** not my fault i was brought up saying it** **

******Feralchild:** tf ur parents british or something** **

******Notasferalchild:** my mom was** **

******Martha <3:** Where is your mom JD? We’ve only ever seen your dad.** **

******Notasferalchild:** she left us** **

******Ihavethebraincell:** u ok that took a bit to type** **

******Notasferalchild:** yeah im fine** **

******Ihavethebraincell:** ok just meet me at the back entrance in 2 mins** **

******Traffic Lights**  
**1:47pm 17th Sept** ** **

******Grinchbinch:** oh shout theuie after me** **

******Goldenretriever:** Who is** **

******Grinchbinch:** miss hilton** **

******Ihavethebraincell:** oof good look getting out of detention** **

******Grinchbinch:** i wouldnr have this problem id u hasd a fuclki g note** **

******Cornnuts:** You sound like your having a stroke** **

******Cornnuts:** Also ronnie where is the notes** **

******Ihavethebraincell:** i have them i just have no clue where you are** **

******Goldenretriever:** Oh were just hanging in the B block bathrooms** **

******Ihavethebraincell:** right ill be their in like 5ish minutes** **

******1:56pm** ** **

******Ihavethebraincell:** im here let me in** **

******Ihavethebraincell:** image_05.jpg  
[The image is the let me in meme]** **

******Goldenretriever:** Its unlocked** **

******3:05pm** ** **

******Grinchbinch:** rip those with detention but im different** **

******Goldenretriever:** So you got out of it then?** **

******Grinchbinch:** turns out the fence around the astroturf is really easy to climb** **

******Goldenretriever:** That fence is like 15 feet tall** **

******Grinchbinch:** its still easy to climb tho** **

******Snurch**  
**3:50pm 17th Sept** ** **

******Notasferalchild:** do any of yall know where the closest pet store is** **

******Martha <3:** Yeah, I do.** **

******Martha <3:** image_06.jpg  
[The image is of google maps with directions to a nearby petsmart]** **

******Notasferalchild:** right thanks** **

******Feralchild:** why tf u need to go to petsmart** **

******Notasferalchild:** i need shit for my hamster** **

******Feralchild:** let me see the s m o l b o i** **

******Notasferalchild:** image_07.jpg  
[The image is of a tan hamster in a cage on a desk]** **

******Feralchild:** cronch** **

******3:55pm** ** **

******Feralchild:** dshgfhjgsdhjsgk** **

******Feralchild:** this is a disgrace** **

******Ihavethebraincell:** i told you id have a fecking spray bottle today** **

******Feralchild:** i thought u were joking** **

******ihavethebraincell:** anyway come pick us up from bettys well come with** **

******Martha <3:** I’ll come as well!** **

******Notasferalchild:** ok ill be there in like 5** **

******Traffic Lights**  
**4:45pm 17th Sept** ** **

******Ihavethebraincell:** fun fact: it is really difficult to get kicked out of the local petsmart** **

******Cornnuts:** …** **

******Cornnuts:** How is that a fun fact** **

******Ihavethebraincell:** cos ‘i found this out cos my friend spilt spilt 2 pounds of dog food down an entire isle and didnt get immediately kicked out fact’ doesnt sound as good** **

******Goldenretriever:** Was it Betty?** **

******Ihavethebraincell:** what fucking question is that of course it was** **

******Cornnuts:** idk rebel without a cause is sort of a wild card** **

******Cornnuts:** like hes already had multiple fights with kurt and ram** **

******Ihavethebraincell:** firstly dumb and dumber started the fights and jd literally did not go anywhere near the dog food** **

******Ihavethebraincell:** anyway any of you want a kfc** **

******Grinchbinch:** just get me the 14 piece party bucket** **

******Ihavethebraincell:** for urself?** **

******Grinchbinch:** did i stutter** **

******Goldenretriever:** Just get me like a regular popcorn chicken pls** **

******Cornnuts:** I dont want anything** **

******Ihavethebraincell:** right cool ill see yall in a bit** **

******The Gays tm**  
**4:51pm 17th Sept** ** **

******Grinchbinch:** lmao i cant believe heathers in love with a girl that say yall** **

******Cornnuts:** Shut up heather** **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im gonna set an upload shedule for this which is every sunday because its just easier for me  
> also kurt and ram setting the bin on fire is based off of what happened at my school on Thursday. Basically all the year groups are their own bubbles with their own space and at morning break someone in my year lit a piece of paper on fire and threw it in a bin, setting it on fire. However the whole year didnt get a detention i just added that for humour.


	6. Trips and waits

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **10:20am 18th Sept**   
>  **Traffic Lights**
> 
> **Cornnuts:** Fhjgskgfdhjsdgfhjkdsgkdjsh
> 
> **Cornnuts:** Im c a c k l i n g 
> 
> **Grinchbinch:** this is homophobia
> 
> **Cornnuts:** But it was funny
> 
> **Grinchbinch:** you dont get to say anything ronnie got u out of fucking gym
> 
> **Cornnuts:** And you wouldve gotten out as well if you didnt insist you needed to beat kurt at cross country

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> relevant usernames for this chapter:  
> Veronica - Ihavethebraincell  
> Heather C - Cornnuts  
> Heather D - Grinchbinch  
> Heather M - Goldenretriever  
> JD - Notasferalchild  
> Martha - Martha<3  
> Betty - Feralchild

**10:20am 18th Sept**   
**Traffic Lights**

**Cornnuts:** Fhjgskgfdhjsdgfhjkdsgkdjsh

**Cornnuts:** Im c a c k l i n g 

**Grinchbinch:** this is homophobia

**Cornnuts:** But it was funny

**Grinchbinch:** you dont get to say anything ronnie got u out of fucking gym

**Cornnuts:** And you wouldve gotten out as well if you didnt insist you needed to beat kurt at cross country

**Grinchbinch:** im infront of him again now so i have no regrets yet

**Goldenretriever:** I got Heather falling on video

**Cornnuts:** Send the sacred video

**Grinchbinch:** heather no

**Cornnuts:** Heather yes

**Goldenretreiver:** video_02.mov  
[The video shows a muddy path with about 27 teenagers running, jogging or walking along it. At the front of the group is Heather and Kurt sprinting and obviously being competitive. Heather’s left leg slips on some mud and she falls on her side. The video ends.]

**Cornnuts:** Jdflghsjghjkshgjkshdgjkdhfkjgh

**Grinchbinch:** i am going to fucking deck u when im finished

**10:30am**

**Grinchbinch:** ok so i may or may not be bleeding

**Grinchbinch:** ands its beginning to hurt to run

**Goldenretriever:** Scale 1-10 how much does it hurt

**Grinchbinch:** idk its like a 2 maybe 3

**Cornnuts:** Your fine then keep running

**Grinchbinch:** im going to blame u when this gets infected and my leg needs amputating

**Cornnuts:** Alright dramatic ass

**12:20pm**

**Cornnuts:** Bicth where te fuck are your socks

**Grinchbinch:** have u seen the state of my leg

**Cornnuts:** Its not that bad

**Cornnuts:** It looks like a cat scratch

**Grinchbinch:** it hurts to walk

**Cornnuts:** Get over it

**Grinchbinch:** i dont need to take this from someone who sucks toes

**Cornnuts:** Fhgjhksgfhjdsgfjg

**Cornnuts:** Who the duck told u about that

**Grinchbinch:** you

**Cornnuts:** Fuck

**Snurch**   
**1:16pm 18th Sept**

**Feralchild:** ronnieeeeeee

**Ihavethebraincell:** yeseeeeeee

**Feralchild:** can u buy me food

**Ihavethebraincell:** why

**Ihavethebraincell:** what have u done

**Feralchild:** i havent done anything 

**Feralchild:** i had fucking hardy last period and its not my fault she hates me

**Ihavethebraincell:** oof shes a bitch

**Ihavethebraincell:** ye ill get ur food

**Traffic Lights**   
**1:20pm 18th Sept**

**Ihavethebraincell:** im gonna join youse later im just doing a favour for betty

**Cornnuts:** What is it ill get someone else to do it

**Ihavethebraincell:** shes got detention so im just getting her food

**Ihavethebraincell:** u wont need to get someone else to get her food

**Cornnuts:** Right fine then well meet you in the b block bathrooms

**Ihavethebraincell:** see u there

**Snurch**   
**1:23pm 18th Sept**

**Martha <3:** Hey where are all of you?

**Ihavethebraincell:** bettys got detention jds getting food and im with him grabbing bettys food

**Martha <3:** Ok then, I’ll see you two once you’ve gotten food.

**Ihavethebraincell:** see you then

**Ihavethebraincell:** wont be able to hang long thos the heathers want me once ive gotten bettys food

**Martha <3:** Ok, hope you have fun with them :)

**Ihavethebraincell:** what did i do to deserve you martha xxx

**Traffic Lights**   
**1:45pm 18th Sept**

**Grinchbinch:** @Ihavethebraincell are u got the food yet

**goldenretriever:** Did you just have a stroke Heather

**Grinchbinch:** the pain is getting to me

**Ihavethebraincell:** i dont think ill be able to get to yall during lunch

**Ihavethebraincell:** like everyone decided thisll be the day they eat the shit served at school

**Goldenretriever:** Oh yeah the corner store where the freshmen and sophomores usually get their food wont let them in cos some people like destroyed an entire aisle and the manager got pissed

**Ihavethebraincell:** fuckers

**Ihavethebraincell:** me and jd have been stood in line for 28 minutes watching dr horribles sing along blog cos they all think there hard

**Cornnuts:** This is why I never eat the filth served here

**Ihavethebraincell:** neither do i but betty does

**Grinchbinch:** if school shooters with u why doesnt he just grab her food

**Ihavethebraincell:** ive reached the point where im to stubborn to leave the line now

**Grinchbinch:** mood

**Snurch**   
**1:50pm 18th Sept**

**Feralchild:** ronnie where the fuck are you

**Ihavethebraincell:** still in line

**Feralchild:** how it never takes me this long

**Ihavethebraincell:** freshmen and sophomores got themselves kicked out of that store down the road

**Martha <3:** What did they do?

**Ihavethebraincell:** according to heather some of them wrecked an isle and the manager got pissed and now both grades are banned

**Martha <3:** I don’t get why they do that stuff, what do they gain?

**Notasferalchild:** they think theyre cool

**Notasferalchild:** theyll calm down once they realise nobody will remember them in three generations

**Feralchild:** try telling that to my great great great grandpa who was really really violent and my mom told me would come drag me to hell if i was naughty

**Ihavethebraincell:** betty what the fuck

**Feralchild:** dont tell me u never wondered what she meant when she said gramp jo will get u when i was being a little shit

**Ihavethebraincell:** were out of the line just come get ur food

**Traffic Lights**   
**2:07pm 18th Sept**

**Ihavethebraincell:** @Grinchbinch what happened to ur leg

**Grinchbinch:** i fell

**Cornnuts:** _**Goldenretreiver:** video_02.mov_

**Ihavethebraincell:** oof

**Goldenretriever:** We had to spend 10 mins in the changing room cleaning the dirt off

**Goldenretriever:** Please dont fall again Heather

**Grinchbinch:** i still beat kurts ass so that doesnt matter

**Ihavethebraincell:** is that why u didnt want me to get u out of gym

**Ihavethebraincell:** just so u could beat kurt

**Grinchbinch:** absolutely

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im just gonna mention that most of the shit that happens in this fic is somewhat based off of events that have happened at my school. for instance duke falling is based on what happened to me on friday and the freshmen and sophomores being banned from the shop is based on how students that go my school arent allowed in the village co op without a parent anymore because some shits were messing around.
> 
> also i may or may not be able to update this quicker soon as i may have to self isolate seeing as how many are having to at my school. im surprised i havent had to at all in the 9 weeks theres been of school so far but b side only have 26 people left and im on a side and let me tell yall the fear is growing


	7. drunkness and movie nights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Traffic Lights**   
>  **3:11pm 18th Sept**
> 
> **Ihavethebraincell:** you: a skull
> 
>  **Ihavethebraincell:** me, an intellectual: a brain cage
> 
>  **Cornnuts:** What in the everloving fuck
> 
>  **Grinchbinch:** no she has a point

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> revalent usernames for this chapter  
> Veronica - Ihavethebraincell  
> Heather C - Cornnuts  
> Heather D - Grinchbinch  
> Heather M - Goldenretriever  
> JD - Notasferalchild  
> Martha - Martha<3  
> Betty - Feralchild

**Traffic Lights**   
**3:11pm 18th Sept**

**Ihavethebraincell:** you: a skull

 **Ihavethebraincell:** me, an intellectual: a brain cage

 **Cornnuts:** What in the everloving fuck

 **Grinchbinch:** no she has a point

 **Ihavethebraincell:** i sent this to the wrong chat

 **Ihavethebraincell:** just pretend i never sent that

 **Goldenretriever:** Ronnie are you ok

 **Ihavethebraincell:** ye

**Snurch**   
**3:14pm 18th sept**

**Ihavethebraincell:** you: a skull

 **Ihavethebraincell:** me, an intellectual: a brain cage

 **Feralchild:** oh my god

 **Feralchild:** ur right

 **Notasferalchild:** i feel like thats caused me physical pain

 **Notasferalchild:** but your not wrong

 **Martha <3:** Just so you know Ronnie, I’m helping out our science teacher after school right now and they saw you text that.

 **Martha <3:** She’s very disappointed.

 **Feralchild:** HA FUCKER

 **Ihavethebraincell:** this is biphobia

**Traffic Lights**   
**3:33pm 18th Sept**

**Cornnuts:** Whose ready to get fucking TANKED

 **Grinchbinch:** its half three

 **Grinchbinch:** its far to late

 **Grinchbinch:** stop being a little pwussy girl and start drinking when u wake up

 **Goldenretriever:** You didn’t put gin and lemonade in your hydroflask again did you Heather?

 **Grinchbinch:** no

 **Grinchbinch:** i have san miguel

 **Goldenretriever:** How is that better

 **Grinchbinch:** tastes better

 **Cornnuts:** Are you able to drive

 **Cornnuts:** I dont want you wrecking your jeep

 **Grinchbinch:** ive only had pint

 **Grinchbinch:** ill be fine

 **Cornnuts:** Hhm

 **Cornnuts:** @Ihavethebraincell

 **Ihavethebraincell:** ye

 **Cornnuts:** Mine

 **Ihavethebraincell:** tonight

 **Cornnuts:** Tonight

 **Ihavethebraincell:** cant i dont want to flake on movie night again

 **Grinchbinch:** oOF

 **Grinchbinch:** way to wreck heathers fragile gay heart

 **Cornnuts:** Gdfhsjhfdgjldfhgjlk

 **Ihavethebraincell:** i mean theres always tomorrow ;)

**The Gays ™**   
**3:42pm 18th Sept**

**Cornnuts:** Sldhjfgjksdhgljkaghjkgh

 **Grinchbinch:** were still getting drunk at urs tho right

 **Goldenretriever:** Heather nows not the time

 **Goldenretriever:** Ronnie just flirted with our girl!!!!!!

 **Cornnuts:** My brain has short circuited and i want to die

 **Grinchbinch:** u cant be with ronnie if ur dead

 **Cornnuts:** Oh shit ur right

 **Grinchbinch:** but r we still getting drunk off our tits

 **Cornnuts:** Yes we have to celebrate my great fucking victory

**Snurch**   
**3:42pm 18th Sept**

**Ihavethebraincell:** i feel like dieing

 **Martha <3:** Please don’t.

 **Ihavethebraincell:** dw but guess who just flirted with the demon queen herself

 **Martha <3:** You?

 **Ihavethebraincell:** fuck yea

 **Feralchild:** our girl has come so far

 **Feralchild:** i still remember when u thought u were straight so many years ago

 **Feralchild:** oh how youve grown

 **Martha <3:** Are you still coming to movie night or do already have plans?

 **Ihavethebraincell:** dw im still coming

 **Feralchild:** we need to celebrate!

 **Feralchild:** jd pick me up we are off to wallmart

 **Notasferalchild:** be yours in five

 **Ihavethebraincell:** betty what are you doing

 **Feralchild:** dont worry nothing bad will happen

 **Ihavethebraincell:** that does not assure me

 **Feralchild:** everything will be fine

 **Feralchild:** just make sure to be at marthas by 5

**Notasferalchild to Feralchild**   
**3:49pm 18th Sept**

**Notasferalchild:** you willing to tell me what were doing

 **Feralchild:** ill tell u in the car

**Ihavethebraincell to Notasferalchild**   
**3:50pm 18th Sept**

**Ihavethebraincell:** what is betty planning

 **Ihavethebraincell:** cos i do not trust her 

**Notasferalchild:** idk she told me shell tell me when she gets in my car

 **Ihavethebraincell:** do not let her do anything stupid

 **Notasferalchild:** ill try

**Ihavethebraincell to Martha <3**   
**4:55pm 18th Sept**

**Ihavethebraincell:** hey im outside your house rn

 **Martha <3:** Ok I’ll open the door in a second, I just have to wash my hands quickly.

**Snurch**   
**5:02pm 18th Sept**

**Feralchild:** right bitches open up were here

 **Martha <3:** I’ll be down in a minute.

**Traffic Lights**   
**5:33pm 18th Sept**

**Cornnuts:** Ronnieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

 **Ihavethebraincell:** yeseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

 **Cornnuts:** Hows yor nit 

**Ihavethebraincell:** very pog

 **Grinchbinch:** POG

 **Goldenretriever:** Pog?

 **Grinchbinch:** pog

 **Ihavethebraincell:** betty and jd went to walmart before and got a shit load of candy

 **Ihavethebraincell:** and alcohol

 **Ihavethebraincell:** they wont tell me how they got it so im just gonna assume they stole it

 **Goldenretriever:** What mvie u wtchng

 **Ihavethebraincell:** princess bride

 **Ihavethebraincell:** after were gonna watch horrible histories

 **Grinchbinch:** fck ye

 **Grinchbinch:** wheee dus mrtha life

 **Grinchbinch:** i wnna watch i t two

 **Cornnuts:** Fok i hrribel his stories

 **Ihavethebraincell:** have u ever had mr jones for history

 **Cornnuts:** No

 **Grinchbinch:** oof

 **Grinchbinch:** four lick evry new toopc he jst pay farus clpd frm it ands it bmb

 **Ihavethebraincell:** are yall drunk

 **Cornnuts:** Myhps

 **Ihavethebraincell:** Cornnuts: wll ty <3

**Snurch**   
**6:51pm 18th Sept**

**Feralchild:** jd how do u work a vpn

 **Notasferalchild:** were in the same room you dont need to text me

 **Feralchild:** i dont want to wake up lenny

 **Notasferalchild:** hes slept threw all of the princess bride

 **Feralchild:** just do the fucking vpn

 **Notasferalchild:** fuck you

**7:02pm**

**Feralchild:** are we just gonna ignore how jd knows the entire intro song to a british kids tv show

 **Notasferalchild:** its a good show

**10:36pm**

**Ihavethebraincell:** being bisexual is fun

 **Ihavethebraincell:** like im head over heels for heather but i also find the guy who plays charles the second hot

 **Feralchild:** british people are just good looking all around

 **Feralchild:** like boom christian bale boom tom holland boom guy who plays charles the second

 **Martha <3:** The actors name is Mathew Baynton.

 **Feralchild:** like boom christian bale boom tom holland boom mathew baynton

**Cornnuts to Ihavethebraincell**   
**10:40pm 18th Sept**

**Cornnuts:** Ur vry butifull

 **Ihavethebraincell:** thanks

 **Cornnuts:** N rlly i lve ur eys

 **Ihavethebraincell:** i love yours to <3

 **Cornnuts:** Lke i wnt to hve ur hed on me la an twrl ur har in mu fngas

 **Ihavethebraincell:** thanks id love that <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fun fact i was watching horrible histories while writing this
> 
> anyway ive had a eventful week, my friend group got reduced to two as my other mates are self isolating, my entire year group is off tomorrow because my school is figuring out whether we all need to self isolate, earlier this week my year group of 242 had 80ish people in and im a celeb has been pretty boring to be honest and most of the celebs are annoying.


	8. I have no clue what to call this chapter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **The Gays ™**   
>  **6:09am 19th Sept**
> 
> **Grinchbinch:** pain
> 
>  **Grinchbinch:** it all hurts
> 
>  **Grinchbinch:** help
> 
>  **Cornnuts:** Go back to sleep
> 
>  **Cornnuts:** Its to early
> 
>  **Grinchbinch:** im raiding ur coffe
> 
>  **Cornnuts:** No
> 
>  **Cornnuts:** That coffee costs more that your entire life
> 
>  **Grinchbinch:** >:]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> relevant usernames for this chapter are  
> Veronica - Ihavethebraincell  
> Heather C - Cornnuts  
> Heather D - Grinchbinch  
> Heather M - Goldenretriever  
> JD - Notasferalchild  
> Martha - Martha<3  
> Betty - Feralchild

**The Gays ™**   
**6:09am 19th Sept**

**Grinchbinch:** pain

 **Grinchbinch:** it all hurts

 **Grinchbinch:** help

 **Cornnuts:** Go back to sleep

 **Cornnuts:** Its to early

 **Grinchbinch:** im raiding ur coffe

 **Cornnuts:** No

 **Cornnuts:** That coffee costs more that your entire life

 **Grinchbinch:** >:]

 **Cornnuts:** Dont you fucking dare

 **Grinchbinch:** image08.jpg  
[The image is a blurry picture of a hallway]

 **Cornnuts:** BASTARD

 **Grinchbinch:** >:D

 **Cornnuts:** Ths iss ur folt m runin at 6 in three monin

 **Grinchbinch:** HAHAHAH FUCK YOU BITCH

 **Grinchbinch:** image09.jpg  
[The image is of Duke sticking her tongue out and giving two fingers to the camera while running through the hallway leading to Chandler’s kitchen]

 **Goldenretriever:** Why did I have to wake up to this

 **Grinchbinch:** shshshshshshs uve been blessed

 **Goldenretriever:** This happens almost every saturday

 **Grinchbinch:** ur so lucky to have been blessed so much

 **Goldenretriever:** jfc

**Traffic Lights**   
**6:17am 19th Sept**

**Cornnuts:** Ronnie heather took my fucking coffee

 **Grinchbinch:** i offered u a mug when u got into the kitchen

 **Cornnuts:** It was a mug of draino hoe

**8:23am**

**Ihavethebraincell:** heather why tf did u try and make heather drink drain cleaner

 **Grinchbinch:** i thought itd be funny

 **Ihavethebaincell:** it couldve killed her

 **Grinchbinch:** itd still be funny

 **Cornnuts:** Slhgjklsdhgkjlsdzhjkadhgljkdsh

 **Cornnuts:** Bitch

 **Cornnuts:** I keep fucking law and order in place if im gone there be no one to keep kurt and ram in place

 **Grinchbinch:** oh shit good point

**Snurch**   
**9:04am 19th Sept**

**Feralchild:** my fucking minecradt house has been destroiwed

 **Notasferalchild:** destroiwed

 **Feralchild:** fuck off u are on the suspect list and suspects dont get to talk

 **Feralchild:** dirty crime boy

 **Notasferalchild:** it hurts to talk anyway

 **Feralchild:** but ur talking right now

 **Notasferalchild:** …

 **Notasferalchild:** u dont talk to text

 **Feralchild:** oh shit i forgot

 **Martha <3:** Betty this needs to be said.

 **Martha <3:** You really are stupid sometimes.

 **Feralchild:** well sorry its not my fault ronnie has mine jds and hers single brain cell 24/7

 **Feralchild:** with the exception of yesterday

 **Martha <3:** What happened yesterday?

 **Ihavethebraincell:** is it how you got the booze

 **Feralchild:** yes its how we got the booze

 **Martha <3:** Please tell me you didn’t steal it.

 **Feralchild:** what no i am a law abiding citizen

 **Ihavethebraincell:** ive seen you piss drunk before

 **Ihavethebraincell:** and last time i checked ur not 21

 **Feralchild:** yeah but like everyone 14-20 have drank before

 **Feralchild:** i aint special

 **Ihavethebraincell:** for fucks sake

**9:32am**

**Martha <3:** _**Notasferalchild:** it hurts to talk anyway_  
Wait are you Okay JD?

 **Notasferalchild:** ye its probably just tonsillitis

 **Notasferalchild:** ill be fine

 **Ihavethebraincell:** knowing you and ur inability to admit when u feel like shit im gonna come to urs around noon

 **Ihavethebraincell:** i would come sooner but im at my nanas

 **Notasferalchild:** im fine

 **Notasferalchild:** i got tonsillitis a shit bunch as a kid i know how to handle this

 **Ihavethebraincell:** im still coming round

**Traffic Lights**   
**10:51am 19th Sept**

**Cornnuts:** My house 2

 **Cornnuts:** Does that work

 **Goldenretriever:** I might be a bit late my Aunts are coming into town and I want to see them

 **Grinchbinch:** bitch i havent left yours left

 **Cornnuts:** You smell go home and get changed

 **Grinchbinch:** im smell perfectly fine

 **Cornnuts:** You smell like axe

 **Ihavethebraincell:** i should be able to make it might need a lift tho

 **Cornnuts:** Heather

 **Grinchbinch:** ill pick her up

 **Grinchbinch:** right hoe where will u be cos i swear u are like never at ur own home whenever i need to pick you up

 **Ihavethebraincell:** Ill be at jds

 **Ihavethebraincell:** you know where that is

 **Grinchbinch:** absolutely not

 **Ihavethebraincell:** its 41 brookfield way

 **Grinchbinch:** right cool ill pick you up 5 to 2

 **Ihavethebraincell:** cool

**Ihavethebraincell to Notasferalchild**   
**11:56am 19th Sept**

**Ihavethebraincell:** im coming onto your street now

 **Ihavethebraincell:** how do you feel

 **Notasferalchild:** fine

 **Notasferalchild:** got a bit of a headache but thats mainly from my cousin calling me to complain about some scousers that took his and his mates table at a pub they regular

 **Ihavethebraincell:** oof

 **Ihavethebraincell:** what the fuck is a scouser

 **Notasferalchild:** someone from liverpool

 **Notasferalchild:** my cousins from manchester and so he hates them

 **Ihavethebraincell:** ah

 **Ihavethebraincell:** anyway i bought some stuff from the corner shop on my way here

 **Notasferalchild:** noice

**Snurch**   
**12:28pm 19th Sept**

**Martha <3:** @Notasferalchild How are you feeling?

 **Notasferalchild:** im fine

 **Feralchild:** u said u got tonsillitis alot as a kid how often are we speaking

 **Notasferalchild:** like every three months nothing to bad

 **Ihavethebraincell:** how have you not had them removed???

 **Notasferalchild:** idk only ever whent to get it checked out a couple of times before my dad found out it goes away on its own

 **Feralchild:** whent lmao

 **Martha <3:** How often do you get it now?

 **Notasferalchild:** like every 6 - 12 months

 **Feralchild:** oof

 **Feralchild:** i have an increased chance of going into cardiac arrest if that makes you feel better

 **Notasferalchild:** it does not but thank you i guess

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have an urge to move this story along to like the beginning of october and i don't know yet whether i will.  
> also my school is breaking up for the christmas holidays either on the 11th or 18th of december so when we do break up this is gonna start being updated more until i go back into school early january so look forward to that i guess  
> also also my tumbr is se-lewis incase you want to follow me there


	9. brunch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Traffic Lights**   
>  **1:52pm 19th Sept**
> 
> **Grinchbinch:** oi bitch im outside
> 
>  **Ihavethebraincell:** be down in a min
> 
>  **Grinchbinch:** hurry up
> 
>  **Ihavethebraincell:** im going as fast as i fucking can
> 
>  **Grinchbinch:** well move faster

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next chapter im going to just skip to the beginning of october as i can

**Traffic Lights**   
**1:52pm 19th Sept**

**Grinchbinch:** oi bitch im outside

 **Ihavethebraincell:** be down in a min

 **Grinchbinch:** hurry up

 **Ihavethebraincell:** im going as fast as i fucking can

 **Grinchbinch:** well move faster

 **Cornnuts:** Shut up heather

 **Grinchbinch:** sorry heater

 **Goldenretriever:** Heater lmao

 **Grinchbinch:** gfjhksdglkjhgfkjshdgjklshdgkj

 **Grinchbinch:** how the fuck am i in love with you

 **Cornnuts:** …

 **Ihavethebraincell:** haha gay

 **Cornnuts:** Are u two dating???

 **Goldenretriever:** Ye

 **Cornnuts:** Since when???

 **Grinchbinch:** since like thursday

 **Cornnuts:** Why didnt you tell us???

 **Goldenretriever:** We had a bet going to see whether you or Veronica would figure it out first

 **Grinchbinch:** then i went an ruined it :’)

 **Goldenretriever:** Noooo you didn’t!!!

 **Grinchbinch:** :’)

**Snurch**   
**5:26pm 19th Sept**

**Ihavethebraincell:** image_10.jpg  
[The image is of Veronica sitting on Chandler’s lap. The two of them are kissing]

 **Ihavethebraincell:** oi fuckers ur fren has a girlfren now

 **Feralchild:** who tf r u

 **Ihavethebraincell:** duke

 **Martha <3:** Hey!!!

 **Ihavethbraincell:** hey

 **Ihavethebraincell:** anyway goodbye biotches

**8:03am 20th Sept**

**Ihavethebraincell:** jhkfdgfghjkljgkfhld

 **Ihavethebraincell:** hangovers are the wordt

 **Feralchild:** wordt

 **Martha <3:** Betty now is not the time.

 **Feralchild:** martha my love it is always the time to insult peoples spelling

 **Martha <3:** Don’t we have bigger news?

 **Feralchild:** OH FUCK YEA

 **Feralchild:** OUR GAL HAS FINALLY GOTTEN THE GUIRL OF HER DREMAS!!11!!!

 **Ihavethebraincell:** wait what

 **Martha <3:** _**Ihavethebraincell:** image_10.jpg_

 **Martha <3:** _**Ihavethebraincell:** oi fuckers ur fren has a girlfren now_

 **Ihavethebraincell:** ah yes i forgot we did that

 **Feralchild:** ronnie i swear to god that if you twodid that as a joke i will fuckingf d3ck u

 **Ihavethebraincell:** it was real

 **Martha <3:** Yes!!! That’s our girl!!!

 **Feralchild:** wait does jd know

 **Feralchild:** he hasnt been reading these texts

 **Ihavethebraincell:** hes in the chat hell find out sooner or later

 **Feralchild:** no this cant wait

 **Feralchild:** im gonna call that fucker

**Feralchild to Ihavethebraincell, Martha <3 and Notasferalchild**   
**8:10am 20th Sept**

**Feralchild:** JD we come with fucking ass important news.

 **Notasferalchild:** It is eight in the morning on a Sunday what could be so fucking important that you have to wake me up?

 **Martha <3:** Ronnie and Heather finally got together!

 **Notasferalchild:** Oh cool.

 **Notasferalchild:** Is that it ‘cause I’d like to go back to sleep.

 **Ihavethebraincell:** Yep that’s it.

 **Notasferalchild:** good.

**Notasferalchild left the call**   
**Ihavethebraincell left the call**   
**Feralchild ended the call**

**Traffic Lights**   
**10:06am 20th Sept**

**Cornnuts:** Right cunts who wants to get brunch

 **Goldenretriever:** We gonna get it at brunch

 **Cornnuts:** Fuck yea

 **Cornnuts:** We must show my bootiful girlfriend the glorys of brunch in the village

 **Ihavethebraincell:** you talking about that cafe near the bus stop all the college students get on in the morning

 **Goldenretriever:** It is not just a cafe

 **Goldenretriever:** It holds a special place in our hearts

 **Goldenretriever:** It was where I realised I was gay

 **Ihavethebraincell:** cool

 **Grinchbinch:** let me get changed first

 **Goldenretriever:** Lets all go home and get changed and meet at brunch at half past

 **Cornnuts:** That sound good

**Snurch**   
**10:24am 20th Sept**

**Ihavethebraincell:** right who wants something from that cafe near the bus spot

 **Feralchild:** get me a brownie

 **Martha <3:** Could you get me a smartie cookie please?

 **Ihavethebraincell:** jd i know ur awake as you were active on tumblr like 5 minutes ago so what do you want

 **Notasferalchild:** dont want anything

 **Ihavethebraincell:** u sure

 **Notasferalchild:** ye

 **Ihavethebraincell:** right ok ill give you ur stuff in like an hour

 **Feralchild:** why did you ask us know then

 **Ihavethebraincell:** felt like it

**11:43am**

**Feralchild:** YOUFUCKET

 **Ihavethebraincell:** fucket

 **Feralchild:** FUCK YOU YOU THREW A FUCKING BROWNIE AT ME THREW MY WINDW

 **Ihavethebraincell:** it was funny tho

 **Ihavethebraincell:** I even have a video

 **Ihavethebraincell:** video_03.mov  
[The video is taken from Veronica’s bedroom window. Veronica is shouting for Betty to open her window. The window across from Veronica’s opens and Betty shouts “What the fuck do you want?” over to Veronica. Betty is then hit in the face by a plastic bag thrown by Veronica. Veronica laughs and the video ends]

 **Martha <3:** Is Betty ok?

 **Feralchild:** no turns out a brownie to the face hurts quite a bit

 **Ihavethebraincell:** youll be fine

**Traffic Lights**   
**11:47am 20th Sept**

**Goldenretriever:** Heather Ronnie did you two get home ok?

 **Cornnuts:** image_11.jpg  
[The image is of Heather stood infront of her mirror wearing a grey blouse and bright red skirt]

 **Cornnuts:** Yeah im home

 **Grinchbinch:** was the picture really necessary

 **Cornnuts:** yes im beautiful

 **Ihavethebraincell:** video_03.mov

 **Ihavethebraincell:** ye im home now

 **Goldenretriever:** You two are perfect for eachother

 **Goldenretriever:** You both do unnecessary things

 **Goldenretriever:** Which are sometimes mean

 **Cornnuts:** Ghfjldhjglfkdfghjkdlghfjkdl

 **Cornnuts:** Excuse me but i am so fucking nice

 **Grinchbinch:** eehh

 **Grinchbinch:** you call at least one person a cunt each day

 **Cornnuts:** they deserve it

 **Goldenretriever:** I dont think that junior in the art club did

 **Goldenretriever:** Or Jeremy from theater

 **Goldenretriever:** Or Mr. Brown in english

 **Cornnuts:** Ok ok i get it im a bit mean

 **Grinchbinch:** more like very mean

 **Grinchbinch:** like its good that ur finally dating veronica but i dont get what she sees in you

 **Ihavethebraincell:** you know im in this chat

 **Ihavethebraincell:** i can see you i nsulting my girlfriend

 **Grinchbinch:** good

 **Grinchbinch:** she deserves it

 **Grinchbinch:** also

 **Grinchbinch:** i nsulting

 **Ihavthebraincell:** …

 **Ihavethebraincell:** w o w

 **cornnuts:** Heather im going to shatter your bones

 **Grinchbinch:** see you aint fucking nice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> two ships in one chapter
> 
> sorry if this chapter seems rushed and shit, writing block has been a bitch recently and i thought maybe writing would help get me out of it but it hasnt. Next weeks chapter will be better.


	10. cuts and theatre

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> relevant usernames for this chapter  
> Veronica - Ihavethebraincell  
> Heather C - Cornnuts  
> Heather D - Grinchbinch  
> Heather M - Goldenretriever  
> JD - Notasferalchild  
> Martha - Martha<3  
> Betty - Feralchild

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im not sure if theres enough detail for there to be a trigger warning but just incase
> 
> tw for mentions of cuts

**Traffic Lights**  
**10:15am 21st Sept**

**Ihavethebraincell:** im beginning to think that my username is beginning to apply to yall

 **Cornnuts:** I have deja vu

 **Goldenretriever:** For what

 **Cornnuts:** The sentence

 **Cornnuts:** I feel like ronnies said that before

 **Ihavethebraincell:** i probably have

 **Goldenretriever:** Anyway why do you have our braincell

 **Goldenretriever:** I want mine back thank you

 **Ihavethebraincell:** you can have yours back

 **Ihavethebraincell:** your actually sensible

 **Ihavethebraincell:** but in other words

 **Ihavethebraincell:** heather may or may not be bleeding profusely from her finger

 **Ihavethebraincell:** image_12.jpg  
[The image is of Duke at a sink in a DT workshop]

 **Ihavethebraincell:** it wont stop bleeding

 **Ihavethebraincell:** we dont know what to do

 **Goldenretriever:** WHAT DID SHE DO?!?!?!!?

 **Ihavethebraincell:** she was using the saw and her hand slipped

 **Cornnuts:** Oh for fucks sake

 **Ihavethebraincell:** the teachers noticed and is having a look at it

 **Ihavethebraincell:** from what i can tell its bad

 **Goldenretriever:** the cut or is the teacher mad

 **Ihavethebraincell:** former

 **Ihavethebraincell:** i dont think miss shaw can get mad

 **Cornnuts:** Good point

 **Ihavethebraincell:** im having to take heather to the nurse now

 **Ihavethebraincell:** goodbye bitches

**Snurch**  
**11:05am 21st Sept**

**Feralchild:** ronnie where r u

 **Feralchild:** yo did not come back to dt

 **Ihavethebraincell:** me and heather are waiting for for her parents to show up to take her to a and e

 **Ihavethebraincell:** they dont want to pay for an ambulance

 **Feralchild:** oh

 **Feralchild:** you gonna be in next period

 **Ihavethebraincell:** probably idk

**Goldenretriever to Grinchbinch**  
**11:08am 21st Sept**

**Goldenretriever:** Are you ok

 **Grinchbinch:** yeah ill be fine

 **Goldenretriever:** No are you ok now?

 **Grinchbinch:** ye

 **Goldenretriever:** Heather…

 **Grinchbinch:** fine its a bit sore but it aint much

 **Grinchbinch:** i just need stitches

 **Grinchbinch:** ill be back in tomorrow

 **Goldenretriever:** Ok just tell me if you feel bad

 **Grinchbinch:** i will

**Traffic Lights**  
**11:12am 21st Sept**

**Cornnuts:** Oi @Grinchbinch u ok

 **Grinchbinch:** ye im fine

 **Grinchbinch:** ive stolen your girl friend

 **Grinchbinch:** image_13.jpg  
[The image is of Veronica sat on the floor of the schools nurses office on her phone]

 **Cornnuts:** Why arent you sat on a chair

 **Ihavethebraincell:** im bi i cant sit on chairs properly

 **Goldenretriever:** But you sit during class and at lunch??

 **Ihavethebraincell:** i work in mysterious ways

 **Cornnuts:** Christ im dating a dork

 **Ihavethebraincell:** yeah but you love me

**Snurch**  
**1:30pm 21st Sept**

**Notasferalchild:** yall got recommendations for like shit

 **Martha <3:** Recommendations for what sorta stuff?

 **Notasferalchild:** like musicals, shows, film

 **Notasferalchild:** fuck at this point im willlinhg to except youtubers

 **Feralchild:** firstly willlinhg

 **Feralchild:** secondly musicals

 **Feralchild:** oh my god u a theathre kid

 **Notasferalchild:** mayhaps

 **Feralchild:** pics or it didnt happen

 **Feralchild:** i refuse to except that you of all people are/were a theater kid

 **Notasferalchild:** image_14.jpg [The image is of a 14 to 15 year old JD dressed in a dirty t-shirt and waistcoat with a cigar in his mouth]

**Notasferalchild:** look heres some fucking proof 

**Notasferalchild:** i played race in my schools performance of newsies back in like freshman year 

**Martha <3:** Isn’t Newsies that musical with all the really complicated dancing? 

**Feralchild:** also arent you always moving 

**Notasferalchild:** this was the school i stayed at the longest 

**Notasferalchild:** was their christmas to the end of the school year 

**Notasferalchild:** also ye its the one with the dancing 

**Feralchild:** for fucks sake you can dance cant you 

**Notasferalchild:** :) 

**Feralchild:** when you get back in school i am going to break yout neecaps 

**Notasferalchild:** you saw how i beat kurt and ram shitless on my first day you count stand a chance 

**Martha <3:** Be careful JD, Betty’s feral. 

**Martha <3:** Even says it in her username. 

**Traffic Lights**  
**3:06pm 21st Sept**

**Cornnuts:** @Grinchbinch you out of the hospital yet 

**Grinchbinch:** not even had my stitches yet 

**Goldenretriever:** When are you getting them? 

**Grinchbinch:** in like half an hour 

**Cornnuts:** How long have you fucking been there 

**Grinchbinch:** like 3 hours 

**Grinchbinch:** its really busy only got in to get it checked out about an hour ago 

**Cornnuts:** Didnt your parents pick you up at like half 11 

**Grinchbinch:** were in toledo 

**Grinchbinch:** my dad thought wed get my finger checked out sooner cos my uncle works here but hes not on shift so we had to wait in a and e for 2 hours 

**Goldenretriever:** Have you eaten in the last 6 hours 

**Grinchbinch:** ye why 

**Goldenretriever:** How are they gonna do your stitches then 

**Grinchbinch:** with a needle?? 

**Goldenretriever:** Arent they going to put you under?? 

**Grinchbinch:** no the stitches are on my finger theyll just use local anesthetic 

**Goldenretriever:** I thought they put you into surgery for stitches 

**Ihavethebraincell:** they dont 

**Ihavethebraincell:** heather have you ever had your wisdom teeth removed 

**Goldenrteriever:** Yeah 

**Ihavethebraincell:** you know how they numb your mouth 

**Goldenretriever:** Yeah 

**Ihavethebraincell:** thats what theyll do to heathers finger theyll just numb it 

**Goldenretriever:** Oh i just thought you went into surgery as when ive had stitches theyve done that 

**Cornnuts:** Heather the two times youve had stitches was when you got hit in the face with a golf club and when i kicked you in my 10 inch heels 

**Ihavethebraincell:** youve been hit in the face with a golf club 

**Goldenretriever:** Oh yeah when i was ten my cousin accidentally hit me in the face with a driver while practicing golf and the cut needed stitches 

**Goldenretriever:** Its how i got the scar next to my left eye 

**Ihavethebraincell:** i can see why they put you under for that but why for when heather kicked you 

**Cornnuts:** The heels had glitter on them 

**Goldenretriever:** Honestly no clue 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heather Mac getting hit with a golf club is based on how i got hit with one and also needed stitches next to my left eye when i was 3. also while researching for this chapter i found out they dont usually put you under for surgery when you need stitches as i thought they did so i projected that onto Heather Mac
> 
> also also i am so appreciative of those who have left kudos and/or commented its makes my day when i get an email saying ive gotten kudos or someones commented (if ive not responded to your comment it doesnt mean ive not read it just means i dont know what to reply with as im bad at conversation)


	11. le filler chapter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Traffic Lights**   
>  **7:52pm 21st Sept**
> 
> **Grinchbinch:** right bitches im home
> 
>  **Goldenretriever:** Im coming over
> 
>  **Goldenretriever:** Ill be there in 5
> 
>  **Grinchbinch:** :DDD
> 
>  **Cornnuts:** Eww look at them being gay
> 
>  **Ihavethebraincell:** your gay
> 
>  **Ihavethebraincell:** we’re dating
> 
>  **Cornnuts:** Shshshshssh let me make fun of them

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> relevant usernames for this chapter  
> Veronica - Ihavethebraincell  
> Heather C - Cornnuts  
> Heather D - Grinchbinch  
> Heather M - Goldenretriever  
> JD - Notasferalchild  
> Martha - Martha<3  
> Betty - Feralchild  
> Kurt - Footballstar

**Traffic Lights**   
**7:52pm 21st Sept**

**Grinchbinch:** right bitches im home

 **Goldenretriever:** Im coming over

 **Goldenretriever:** Ill be there in 5

 **Grinchbinch:** :DDD

 **Cornnuts:** Eww look at them being gay

 **Ihavethebraincell:** your gay

 **Ihavethebraincell:** we’re dating

 **Cornnuts:** Shshshshssh let me make fun of them

**Snurch**   
**3:34pm 22nd Sept**

**Feralchild:** oi fuckers guess who i just saw the pack horse

 **Martha <3:** Urrrm…

 **Martha <3:** Your Uncle Dan

 **Ihavethebraincell:** oh sketchy dans 100% there

 **Ihavethebraincell:** betty didnt he show up at yours last christmas at like 5 in the morning, raided your liquor cupboard, lit the bbq and had made chicken wings and was piss drunk by 7

 **Feralchild:** of course mu uncle is here

 **Feralchild:** but guess who else i saw

 **Notasferalchild:** its gonna be a teacher isnt it

 **Feralchild:** ding ding ding

 **Feralchild:** jd is right

 **Feralchild:** its fucking ass flubby foy is here

 **Martha <3:** I never liked her

 **Feralchild:** whats this

 **Feralchild:** martha not liking someone

 **Feralchild:** what universe is this

 **Feralchild:** where am i

 **Feralchild:** ????????????????????????????????????????????????????

 **Martha <3:** You know I am allowed to dislike people.

 **Feralchild:** no??????????????????????????????????????????????????

**Traffic Lights**   
**9:39am 22nd Sept**

**Grinchbinch:** i hate science

 **Grinchbinch:** like the fuck is a chlorophyll

 **Grinchbinch:** also i have to do a fucking assignment with fucking bean ass whose not been in since monday

 **Grinchbinch:** like has he just fucking died

 **Ihavethebraincell:** oof you have to do the assignment with jd

 **Ihavethebraincell:** good luck hes hopeless with science

 **Grinchbinch:** also where the fuck is that bitch

 **Ihavethebraincell:** hes got tonsillitis

 **Grinchbinch:** WANKER

 **Grinchbinch:** give me his contact

 **Ihavethebraincell:** Notasferalchild

 **Grinchbinch:** thx

**Grinchbinch to Notasferalchild**   
**1:26pm 22nd Sept**

**Grinchbinch:** oi fucker

 **Notasferalchild:** who are you

 **Grinchbinch:** h duke

 **Grinchbinch:** we have to do the science assignment together

 **Notasferalchild:** ok firstly you better be prepared to fail

 **Notasferalchild:** secondly who gave you my contact

 **Grinchbinch:** ronnie

 **Notasferalchild:** git

 **Notasferalchild:** anyway is it on google classroom

 **Grinchbinch:** ye

 **Notasferalchild:** right cool ill go over it and split so we do equal

 **Grinchbinch:** right year ok

**Snurch**   
**3:06pm 23rd Sept**

**Feralchild:** right @Notasferalchild how the fuck you holding up

 **Notasferalchild:** ive been listening to the world will know from newsies on loop

 **Notasferalchild:** help

 **Martha <3:** Have you done anything else?

 **Notasferalchild:** i made a playlist called dont die and the only songs on it are stay alive from himitlon 49 times and stay alive reprise once right in the middle

 **Feralchild:** himitlon

 **Notasferalchild:** you cant do this to me im sick

 **Feralchild:** i can do what the fuck i like thank you very much

 **Notasferalchild:** fight me

 **Feralchild:** no thank you xxx

**Traffic Lights**   
**11:03am 24th Sept**

**Grinchbinch:** guys look what i found

 **Grinchbinch:** image_15.jpg  
[The image is of a frog on the school’s field]

 **Ihavethebraincell:** mmmm yes f r o g

 **Goldenretriever:** A smol boii

 **Grinchbinch:** the best boii

 **Ihavethebraincell:** hes my new son

 **Grinchbinch:** no me and heather are his moms

 **Grinchbinch:** you can be the wine aunt

 **Goldenretriever:** No Heather is the wine aunt

 **Goldenretriever:** Ronnie is the cool aunt

 **Ihavethebraincell:** FUCK YEA

 **Cornnuts:** ,,,,,, all this over a frog

 **Grinchbinch:** DO NOT INSULT MY NEW SON!!!!

**Traffic Lights**   
**1:23pm 25th Sept**

**Grinchbinch:** heather where are you???

 **Goldenretriever:** Ill be at the table in a sec im just talking to Kurt

 **Grinchbinch:** eww

 **Grinchbinch:** you missed heather sying ‘im right here you fuckwad’ after she got the notif for the first text

 **Cornnuts:** If kurt gives you any trouble i will crack his shins

 **Goldenretriever:** Please dont

 **Goldenretriever:** Hes not giving me any trouble he was literally just asking when a piece of homework was due

 **Cornnuts:** Good

**Snurch**   
**8:21am 28th Sept**

**Feralchild:** @Notasferalchild where the fuck are you

 **Notasferalchild:** i refuse to tell you

 **Feralchild:** we have home room together bitch

 **Notasferalchild:** i aint afraid of skipping

 **Feralchild:** i have blackmail material

 **Notasferalchild:** such as what

 **Feralchild:** _**Notasferalchild:** image_14.jpg  
[The image is of a 14 to 15 year old JD dressed in a dirty t-shirt and waistcoat with a cigar in his mouth]_

 **Notasferalchild:** ooo im so scared

 **Feralchild:** you better be

 **Notasferalchild:** its not like i can just tell everyone how you dressed up as an elderly woman in order to buy booze and it almost got us arrested

 **Ihavethebraincell:** THATS HOW YOU GOT THE FUCKING BOOZE YOU NOB

 **Feralchild:** JD YOU TWAT

 **Notasferalchild:** this is what happens when you cross me

 **Feralchild:** i will chop you up and make you into limb soup

 **Notasferalchild:** yum

 **Ihavethebraincell:** jfc

**Traffic Lights**   
**1:43pm 29th Sept**

**Ihavethebraincell:** Have you guys noticed how Kurt and Ram have been ignoring each other

 **Grinchbinch:** i just assumed they were having a lovers quarrel

 **Cornnuts:** ^^^

 **Goldenretriever:** I think i have an idea of whats happened but it isnt really my place to say

 **Grinchbinch:** dont do this to us

 **Grinchbinch:** dont entice us with these secrets and then say oh its not my place to say

 **Goldenretriever:** Look ill see if kurt is willing to tell yall but if hes not we dont talk about this

 **Cornnuts:** Fine then you go and do that

**3:38pm**

**Goldenretriever:** Kurt said he’d be willing to tell you guys why him and Ram are ignoring eachother

 **Goldenretriever:** So be fucking kind to him or Ill drop kick you

 **Grinchbinch:** god i fucking love you

**Goldenretriever added Footballstar to the group chat**

**Grinchbinch:** sup fucker heather said your willing to tell us why you and ram are having a lovers quarrel

 **Footballstar:** Dont say that

 **Grinchbinch:** yeah right sorry go on

 **Footballstar:** Right so i told ram im gay cos yknow hes my bro and i feel like he deserves to know and after that he just walks out my house and he hasnt talked to me since

 **Cornnuts:** Wait your gay??

 **Footballstar:** Yeah

 **Grinchbinch:** smae

 **Footballstar:** Cool

 **Goldenretriever:** Right so everybody what we are going to do is get Ram to stop being weird about this

 **Goldenretriever:** You all onboard?

 **Grinchbinch:** go on then

 **Cornnuts:** Yeah

 **Ihavethebraincell:** sure

 **Goldenretriever:** Good because i didnt have a plan incase you said no

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wouldve had this out sooner today but i got distracted by discord and the fact that Jeremy Jordon found out about Spinesies  
>  im trying to move this along a bit so this chapter is literally just filler except for that the last text chunk  
> also its the christmas holidays for me so this might be updated more than on Sunday if i feel like it, and im working on something else as well so maybe expect that to


	12. its spoopy time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Traffic Lights**   
>  **3:44pm 29th Sept**
> 
> **Goldenretriever:** Right so do you know why Ram reacted the way he did?
> 
> **Footballstar:** No
> 
> **Footballstar:** Why would i???
> 
> **Goldenretriever:** Ok well this means that he might just need time to except that your gay and that hes not being a homophobic piece of trash
> 
> **Footballstar:** Sounds fake but go off i guess

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok sorry for not updating last week i was busy and it snowed sunday night so monday i spent a lot of time out in the snow
> 
> also here are my social medias  
> insta - @se_lewis_se  
> tumblr - @se-lewis but a lot more active on @yesterday-and-tomorrows-news  
> tik tok - @se_lewis_se

**Traffic Lights**  
**3:44pm 29th Sept**

**Goldenretriever:** Right so do you know why Ram reacted the way he did?

**Footballstar:** No

**Footballstar:** Why would i???

**Goldenretriever:** Ok well this means that he might just need time to except that your gay and that hes not being a homophobic piece of trash

**Footballstar:** Sounds fake but go off i guess

**Grinchbinch:** ye the fact that he’s not a twat seems unlikely

**Goldenretriever:** We’ll find out

**Goldenretriever:** Heather Ram is scared shitless of you corner him and ask him

**Cornnuts:** Ronnie come with

**Cornnuts:** Pls

**Ihavethebraincell:** when r we doing it

**Ihavethebraincell:** cos incase yall havent noticed its almost 4

**Footballstar:** Football practice

**Goldenretriever:** Yeah we’re gonna ask Ram when he comes out the changing room

**Ihavethebraincell:** right i get you

**Ihavethebraincell:** ill come with you heather <3

**Cornnuts:** <3

**Grinchbinch:** ew

**Goldenretriever:** I’m literally sat on your lap

**Footballstar:** Jfc

**Footballstar:** Are you all usually like this

**Grinchbinch:** yes bitch get used to it

**Cornnuts:** We’ve all known each other since kindergarten why are you surprised

**Footballstar:** Cos i didn’t know you crackheads until freshmen year

**Ihavethebraincell:** but youve always lived in sherwood

**Footballstar:** I was the grade below

**Footballstar:** Skipped 8th grade

**Footballstar:** Bada bing bada boom im in freshman year with youse

**Goldenretriever:** You werent just in different classes before then???

**Footballstar:** I mean i was

**Goldenretriever:** You know what I mean

**Goldenretriever:** A N Y W A Y

**Goldenretriever:** Its five to Heather and Veronica go and corner ram

**Ihavethebraincell:** yep on it

**4:17pm**

**Goldenretriever:** Weve just seen Ram leave

**Goldenretriever:** How did it go??

**Ihavethebraincell:** its very long and complicated but in short lots of insults and slurs directed at kurt and i now love my wonderful girlfriend so much more

**Cornnuts:** Yeah as the love of my life said its long so just meet us at mine

**Cornnuts:** Also Kurt come to

**Footballstar:** Was going to come anyway

**Snurch**  
**5:38pm 29th Sept**

**Feralchild:** RONNIE

**Feralchild:** I HAVE SOME REALLLY FUQKIGN IPORTANT NEWS

**Ihavethebraincell:** WHAT

**Feralchild:** I HAVE AQUIRED BLACKMAIL ON OUR TOLL BOI JD

**Notasferalchild:** which i gave you

**Notasferalchild:** cos i dont care who sees it

**Feralchild:** SHSHSHSHSHSH LET ME FEEL ACOMPLISHJXGVDZHJXFJZKS

**Notasferalchild:** no 

**Snurch**  
**1:33pm 30th Sept**

****Martha <3:** Hey Ronnie? **

******Ihavethebraincell:** ye** **

******Martha <3:** How come Kurt is sitting with you and the Heathers?** **

******Martha <3:** Doesn’t he usually sit with Ram?** **

******Ihavethebraincell:** theres something going on between them** **

******Ihavethebraincell:** its not really my place to say** **

******Martha <3:** Okay then, tell him I hope him and Ram make up soon.** **

******Ihavethebraincell:** will do** **

******Traffic Lights**  
**12am 1st Oct** ** **

******Grinchbinch:** its spoop time** **

******Notasferalchild to Ihavethebraincell**  
**6:59am 1st Oct** ** **

******Notasferalchild:** was there homework due** **

******Ihavethebraincell:** shit** **

******Ihavethebraincell:** yes there is** **

******Ihavethebraincell:** you got any shoe boxes** **

******Notasferalchild:** yeah** **

******Notasferalchild:** what the fuqk was the homework???** **

******Notasferalchild:** what lesson is it for???** **

******Ihavethebraincell:** drama** **

******Notasferalchild:** what the fukc do we need shoe boxexs for** **

******Ihavethebraincell:** idk** **

******Ihavethebraincell:** just bring two one for me and one for you** **

******Notasferalchild:** i dont have two** **

******Ihavethebraincell:** why didnt you mention it?!?!?!?!** **

******Notasferalchild:** cos you never asked** **

******Ihavethebraincell:** ok then you use the shoebox and ill see if betty or martha have any** **

******Snurch**  
**7:05am 1st Oct** ** **

******Ihavethebraincell:** @Feralchild @Martha<3 do you have any shoeboxes** **

******Feralchild:** why do you need one** **

******Ihavethebraincell:** for drama** **

******Feralchild:** oh you have that homework** **

******Feralchild:** im not giving you a shoebox** **

******Ihavethebraincell:** why** **

******Feralchild:** biytch i also have that homework and i only have one biocx** **

******Martha <3:** I have a spare shoebox you can use Ronnie.** **

******Ihavethebraincell:** thank you martha** **

******Ihavethebraincell:** the only saving grace in this world** **

******Traffic Lights:**  
**8:03am 1st Oct** ** **

******Ihavethebraincell:** why is heather aggressively banging the car** **

******Grinchbinch:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)** **

******Grinchbinch:** also** **

******Grinchbinch:** ITS SPOOOP TIME BIATCGHESJHDFGSKJDSZHG** **

******Ihavethebraincell:** did you just have a stroke???** **

******Grinchbinch:** PROBABLY** **

****

******Snurch**  
**10:02am 2nd Oct** ** **

******Feralchild:** why are we doing cross cuntry again** **

******Martha <3:** I don’t know** **

******Notasferalchild:** i dont think the bastard has realised that someone always ends up having a panic attack and or throwing up whenever we do this** **

******Ihavethebraincell:** welsford is just like that** **

******Ihavethebraincell:** you get used to him after having him for pe the entirety of high school** **

******Notasferalchild:** good job im probably leaving after christmas then** **

******Martha <3:** What no** **

******Martha <3:** We don’t want you to leave** **

******Notasferalchild:** well unless i can find a place before then im gone** **

******Martha <3:** :(** **

******Goldenretriever made a new group chat**  
**Goldenretriever changed the group chats name to dfhkljs**  
**Goldenretriever added Grinchbinch to the conversation**  
**Goldenretriever added Cornnuts to the conversation**  
**Goldenretriever added Ihavethebraincell to the conversation** ** **

******Goldenretriever:** Right you all just keep Kurt away from the A block lockers** **

******Ihavethebraincell:** sure why** **

******Grinchbinch:** ram** **

******Grinchbinch:** and the foot ball team** **

******Cornnuts:** Sup sluts whats happening** **

******Goldenretriever:** Ram must have told the football team and theyve all graffitied Kurts locker with stuff...** **

******Goldenretriever:** Theyre also stood nearby the locker presumably waiting for Kurt to show up** **

******Cornnuts:** Right ill go tell them all to fuck off and clean his locker** **

******Cornnuts:** Also what harm would letting kurt know do** **

******Grinchbinch:** my wonderful and amazing girlfriend here cares about peoples feelings** **

******Goldenretriever:** Thx but i just hadnt thought of telling kurt not to go to his locker esp while theyre waiting** **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know i said i would update more over christmas but im a liar so pls take most of what i say with a grain of salt
> 
> ~~also yes i am aware all of it goes into bold at some point i tried fixing it but nought worked~~


	13. maccies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Traffic Lights**   
>  **8:10am 5th Oct**
> 
> **Cornnuts:** @Footballstar
> 
> **Cornnuts:** Stay away from your locker
> 
> **Footballstar:** Why…
> 
> **Cornnuts:** Football team graffitied your locker
> 
> **Footballstar:** Fuckers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> relevant usernames for this chapter  
> Veronica - Ihavethebraincell  
> Heather C - Cornnuts  
> Heather D - Grinchbinch  
> Heather M - Goldenretriever  
> JD - Notasferalchild  
> Martha - Martha<3  
> Betty - Feralchild  
> Kurt - Footballstar
> 
> again sorry for not updating last week schools been a pain in the ass

**Traffic Lights**   
**8:10am 5th Oct**

**Cornnuts:** @Footballstar

**Cornnuts:** Stay away from your locker

**Footballstar:** Why…

**Cornnuts:** Football team graffitied your locker

**Footballstar:** Fuckers

**Footballstar:** Im gonna have to wait til after practice to clean it

**Goldenretriever:** NO

**Goldenretriever:** We are going to get them bastards to clean it

**Grinchbinch:** also be prepared for more insults

**Grinchbinch:** cos like at least half the school have seen it

**Footballstar:** Can i just like not show up for the next week

**Grinchbinch:** can i join you

**Footballstar:** Yeah

**Footballstar:** You want to go get macccies

**Goldenretriever:** Stop trying to steal my girlfriend Kurt

**Goldenretriever:** Also macccies????

**Goldenretriever:** MACCCIES???

**Grinchbinch:** friendship ended with heather

**Grinchbinch:** now kurt is my best friend

**Goldenretriever:** >:0

**Ihavethebraincell:** anyways yall me and heather have gotten the freshmen on the team to clean it later

**Ihavethebraincell:** turns out theyre all really willing to do as heather says

**Cornnuts:** Theyre all boot lickers

**Cornnuts:** And yeah we also told the others to fuck off so you should be right to get your shit

**Footballstar:** You guys didnt have to do this

**Goldenretriever:** Shshshshshs we fake dated for a year

**Goldenretriever:** This is me repaying the favour

**Footballstar:** You already repaid the favour!!!

**Goldenretriever:** Bitch let me do this

**Grinchbinch:** why is this friendship so wholesome???

**Grinchbinch:** how have we never noticed this???

**Snurch**   
**12:23pm 5th Oct**

**Feralchild:** i hate pd

**Ihavethebraincell:** you doing the sex lesson to

**Martha <3:** Yeah… 

**Notasferalchild:** like do they really expect 17 and 18 year olds to not know what sex is

**Feralchild:** and that were virgins

**Martha <3:** Betty we all you’re a virgin.

**Feralchild:** well not everyone in our class are virgins

**Ihavethebraincell:** good point

**Ihavethebraincell:** wait are yall having to put the condom on the dildo

**Martha <3:** Yeah… 

**Notasferalchild:** same

**Notasferalchild:** we also have a shit ton of the people in our class who still think that sex is some dirty act

**Ihavethebraincell:** so far weve had people say

**Ihavethebraincell:** why do we need to know this if were never gonna have sex before marriage

**Ihavethebraincell:** i dont want sex right now why are we learning this

**Ihavethebraincell:** and the fucking cherry on top

**Ihavethebraincell:** but miss ive watched anime i already know this

**Notasferalchild:** they said it completely unprompted

**Feralchild:** wtf wtf wtf

**Martha <3:** Who the fuck is in your class?

**Notasferalchild:** the weebs and the innocents

**Notasferalchild:** and then just me and ronnie at the back

**Ihavethebraincell:** were just here watching shit

**Martha <3:** Oooh what are you watching?

**Ihavethebraincell:** no clue

**Notasferalchild:** im watching ghosts and ronnie is looking over from her seat

**Ihavethebraincell:** all i know so far is something to with war and people are clearing a garden

**Traffic Lights**   
**1:22pm 5th Oct**

**Grinchbinch:** image_16.jpg  
[The image is of a full McDonalds bag]

**Cornnuts:** Fucker you better have brought us some

**Goldenretriever:** Why didnt you tell me you were going to mcdonalds???

**Goldenretriever:** Ive just been worrying about you cos you didnt show up or table!!!

**Grinchbinch:** sorry :(

**Grinchbinch:** i just wanted to get to in before the younger years did

**Grinchbinch:** but i did get yall mcflurries

**Goldenretriever:** Forgiven give me the ice cream

**11:03pm**

**Cornnuts:** Wait did duke use yall

**Grinchbinch:** im blaming ronnie

**Ihavethebraincell:** :0

**Ihavethebraincell:** this is biphobia

**Cornnuts:** :) <3

**Cornnuts:** I still love you tho <3

**Ihavethebraincell:** <3

**Footballstar:** Ew saps

**Traffic Lights**   
**8:03am 6th Oct**

**Footballstar:** Do you think people would notice if i just didnt show up to school

**Goldenretriever:** Probably

**Goldenretriever:** Did anyone start calling you stuff

**Footballstar:** No but people were definitely ignoring me

**Footballstar:** Theyre probably waiting for you four to react

**Cornnuts:** We wont do anything then

**Cornnuts:** I swear to god most the people at this hell hole are dumb as fuck

**Grinchbinch:** the only smart people are us and ronnies frens

**Grinchbinch:** kurt is on thin ice

**Footballstar:** >:0

**Ihavethebraincell:** did

**Ihavethebraincell:** did you just compliment my friends

**Ihavethebraincell:** after you insulted them constantly since 6th grade

**Grinchbinch:** character growth

**Footballstar:** I dont know why im shocked you said im on thin ice ive been a dick since freshmen year

**Goldenretriever:** To be honest we were all dicks

**Goldenretriever:** Except for Martha

**Goldenretriever:** Shes like the only person whose not been a dick to anyone

**Cornnuts:** _**Grinchbinch:** the only smart people are us and ronnies frens_  
Never thought id agree to this but here we are

**Ihavethebraincell:** wow never thought me asking for a boon from the heathers would result in yall gaining feelings

**Goldenretriever:** >:0

**Goldenretriever:** I felt sadness :,)

**Ihavethebraincell:** :(

**Ihavethebraincell** now i feel bad

**Goldenretriever:** noooo sshshshsh im getting my prescription in a weeks time

**Grinchbinch:** :000

**Grinchbinch:** yeeeeeeeeee

**Grinchbinch:** babe im so happy for you <333

**Goldenretriever:** <333

**Snurch**   
**1:16pm 6th Oct**

**Feralchild:** ronnie

**Feralchild:** i need you to get my lunch again

**Ihavethebraincell:** detention?

**Feralchild:** ye

**Ihavethebraincell:** you want your usual

**Feralchild:** please

**Martha <3:** J.D. and I are going to meet you on the stairs

**Ihavethebraincell:** pog ill see you there

**Traffic Lights**   
**1:19pm 6th Oct**

**Ihavethebraincell:** ill meet yall in a bit i just need to get bettys lunch cos shes got detention

**Footballstar:** D o you want my queue pass

**Ihavethebraincell:** if you dont mind sure

**Cornnuts:** When did you get a lunch pass???

**Footballstar:** I got one when i broke my leg and school just never took it back

**Grinchbinch:** didnt you break your leg like sophomore year

**Footballstar:** Ye

**Ihavethebraincell:** kurt you wanna meet me at the top of the lunch stairs

**Footballstar:** Sure ill be there in a couple minutes

**Ihavethebraincell:** pog

**Snurch**  
 **1:25pm 6th Oct**

**Ihavethebraincell:** @Notasferalchild @Martha<3 change of plans meet me in the courtyard near the lunch line

**Martha <3:** Okie Dokie

**Traffic Lights**   
**3:26am 7th Oct**

**Grinchbinch:** is it like normal for a person to spend liek 3 hours blasting the end of the last day of summer from the lightning thief and crying

**7:48am**

**Ihavethebraincell:** mood

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if any of yall know what episode of ghosts jd was watching i will send you virtual hugs as at the moment bbc ghosts is my life an soul


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Traffic Lights
> 
> 8:21am 7th Oct
> 
> Cornnuts: Right bitches me and ronnie are getting starbucks
> 
> Cornnuts: You guys want anything
> 
> Grinchbinch: *cocks gun* boba bitches
> 
> Cornnuts: *guns cock* no
> 
> Goldenretriever: Please never say that again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> relevant usernames for this chapter  
> Veronica - Ihavethebraincell  
> Heather C - Cornnuts  
> Heather D - Grinchbinch  
> Heather M - Goldenretriever  
> JD - Notasferalchild  
> Martha - Martha<3  
> Betty - Feralchild  
> Kurt - Footballstar
> 
> if yall want to yell at me then feel free to follow me @yesterday_and_tomorrows_news on tumblr

**Traffic Lights**

**8:21am 7th Oct**

**Cornnuts:** Right bitches me and ronnie are getting starbucks

**Cornnuts:** You guys want anything

**Grinchbinch:** *cocks gun* boba bitches

**Cornnuts:** *guns cock* no

**Goldenretriever:** Please never say that again

**Goldenretriever:** Also yes get us boba

**Cornnuts:** We’re at starbucks

**Grinchbinch:** and you have the boba place down the road in the mall

**Ihavethebraincell:** were already pushed for time

**Ihavethebraincell:** we wont have time to get there and back before first period

**Cornnuts:** Shshshshshs we have re first

**Ihavethebraincell:** were gonna get boba arent we

**Grinchbinch:** you better be

**Cornnuts:** Fuck yea i want boba now

**Footballstar:** You lot getting boba

**Cornnuts:** Ye

**Cornnuts:** Right bitches what flavour you want

**Goldenretriever:** Chocolate pls

**Grinchbinch:** WATERMELOAN

**Footballstar:** Apple

**Ihavethebraincell:** pog meet us in the courtyard at break

**Ihavethebraincell:** the mall doesnt open till 10

**Goldenretriever:** >:0

**Goldenretriever:** This is homophobia

**Grinchbinch:** ikr

**Snurch**

**11:02am 7th Oct**

**Feralchild:** @Ihavethebraincell bitch did you get boba and not get us some

**Ihavethebraincell:** mayhaps

**Feralchild:** i am going to shatter your knee caps

**Notasferalchild:** do you want any weapons

**Feralchild:** what you got

**Notasferalchild:** guns knives an axe pretty sure we have a sword in the bottom of the truck

**Martha <3:** J.D. why do you have so many weapons?

**Notasferalchild:** guns were left from my dads dad

**Notasferalchild:** knives from the kitchen and some throwing ones from when i wanted to learn in 7th grade

**Notasferalchild:** axe is cos for some reason we only rent homes with log burners so we have the axe to chop logs to fit

**Notasferalchild:** and i bought the sword when i lived in vegas a couple years ago cos it looked cool

**Feralchild:** :000 i wanna see the sword

**Notasferalchild:** image_17.jpg

[The image is of a sword with a patterned handle]

**Martha <3:** Ooh fancy

**Ihavethebraincell:** jfc how much did that cost

**Notasferalchild:** $200 i think

**Feralchild:** :)))))

**Feralchild:** ronnieeeeeeeee

**Ihavethebraincell:** jd do not let betty have the sword

**Feralchild:** :))) jd give me the sword

**Notasferalchild:** no

**Feralchild:** >:000

**Feralchild:** let me be a dirty dirty crime girl

**Martha <3:** Betty no!

**Feralchild:** betty yes!!

**Traffic Lights**

**1:17pm 7th Oct**

**Ihavethebraincell:** any of yall have a weapon that could easily beat a sword

**Grinchbinch:** my grandad has an air rifle

**Grinchbinch:** why

**Ihavethebraincell:** self defense from betty

**Ihavethebraincell:** but only if jd agrees to give her his sword

**Goldenretriever:** Wh-why does Jd have a sword???

**Ihavethebraincell:** he got in in vegas

**Ihavethebraincell:** i dont know how but he got one

**Cornnuts:** Honestly i dont see why yall are surprised

**Footballstar:** Did you just use yall

**Grinchbinch:** :00 ronnie is rubbing off on you

**Grinchbinch:** so romantic

**Cornnuts:** Ive been betrayed by my own girlfriend

**Cornnuts:** I dont want to become southern

**Ihavethebraincell:** dfgjkhdfjkgh shut up you love me

**Ihavethebraincell:** and if your really angry then blame jd

**Cornnuts:** give me his contact i need to call him a bastard

**Ihavethebraincell:** right hang on let me see if hes ok with it

**Ihavethebraincell to Notasferalchild**

**1:23pm 7th Oct**

**Ihavethebraincell:** right bitch do you mind if i give heather your number

**Notasferalchild:** yes why

**Ihavethebraincell:** she said yall and blames you

**Notasferalchild:** we literally havent talked

**Ihavethebraincell:** its cos i say it because of you and she said it because of me

**Ihavethebraincell:** so she blames you

**Ihavethebraincell:** and wants to call you a bastard

**Notasferalchild:** sure give her my contact my self esteem is low enough already

**Ihavethebraincell:** you ok there

**Notasferalchild:** absolutely not :)

**Notasferalchild:** im so touch starved

**Ihavethebraincell:** do you want a hug

**Notasferalchild:** please

**Ihavethebraincell:** ok when i next see you i am going to give you the best hug you will ever get

**Ihavethebraincell:** also im going back urs with you

**Notasferalchild:** you dont have to

**Ihavethebraincell:** but i want to

**Traffic Lights**

**1:29pm 7th Oct**

**Ihavethebraincell:** jd doesnt want to give you his contact

**Cornnuts:** Aw just call him a cunt for me

**Ihavethebraincell:** maybe

**Cornnuts:** Good enough

**Ihavethebraincell to Notasferalchild**

**3:04pm 7th Oct**

**Ihavethebraincell:** hey should we meet at the 711 at half past

**Notasferalchild:** yea sure

**Notasferalchild:** erm do you mind if we chill at urs cos my dads home and i know hell get suspicious when we walk in

**Notasferalchild:** even tho theres no reason to be hes just like that the bastard

**Ihavethebraincell:** yea we can chill at mine

**Ihavethebraincell:** you know where i live so just like show up when youve dropped ur school shit at urs

**Notasferalchild:** ok then

**Snurch**

**10:24pm 7th Oct**

**Feralchild:** ok you lot guess who just ordered a sword from a dodgy website for like most of their money

**Martha <3:** Betty…

**Ihavethebraincell:** jfc betty why are you like this

**Feralchild:** remember that time miss wall wouldnt give me my meds while i just sorta almost went into cardiac arrest

**Martha <3: ** Vividly seeing as 6th grade me worried for your health a lot

**Ihavethebraincell:** ye…

**Feralchild:** yea well when that happened i sorta just realised that i could die at any point so i might as well live a full half life eing a feral bastard than live a half full life as a chill motherfucker

**Notasferalchild:** that was weirdly insightful

**Feralchild:** thank you

**Traffic Lights**

**10:28pm 7th Oct**

**Ihavethebraincell:** ive finally found out why bettys like a feral chil

**Grinchbinch:** finally the archives will be complete

**Cornnuts:** Fucking hell ronnie pls tell us the secrets

**Ihavethebraincell:** image_18.jpg

[The image is of the following conversation on Snurch:

**Feralchild:** remember that time miss wall wouldnt give me my meds while i just sorta almost went into cardiac arrest

**Martha <3: ** Vividly seeing as 6th grade me worried for your health a lot

**Ihavethebraincell:** ye…

**Feralchild:** yea well when that happened i sorta just realised that i could die at any point so i might as well live a full half life eing a feral bastard than live a half full life as a chill motherfucker]

**Goldenretriever:** oh yeah i remember that

**Goldenretriever:** it was pretty scary tbh

  
**Ihavethebraincell:** yea but i mean it explains a lot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im very tempted to make comic on JD and Veronica chilling cos itd literally be just pure fluff
> 
> and incase yall are wondering heather c and veronicas fave boba flavours are strawberry for heather and caramel for veronica
> 
> errm obliterary plugs  
> tumblr - yesterday_and_tomorrows_news  
> and thats it rlly
> 
> this is also my first time using rich text instead of html and im glad i did cos now i wont have the text changing suddenly and me not knowing why


	15. do yall rlly think im imaginitive enough to think of chapter titles?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Snurch**
> 
> **1:26am 8th Oct**
> 
> **Feralchild:** rick astley said hes never gonna give you up then if you want the disney movie up then he cant give you it cos he said hes never gonna give you up but by not giving you up hes letting you down which he also said he wouldnt do
> 
> **Feralchild:** so what would he do
> 
> **7:48am**
> 
> **Ihavethebraincell:** betty what le fuqk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fuck my upload schedule
> 
> socials  
> tumblr - yesterdays-worms
> 
> a mid week update cos why the fuck not

**Snurch**

**1:26am 8th Oct**

**Feralchild:** rick astley said hes never gonna give you up then if you want the disney movie up then he cant give you it cos he said hes never gonna give you up but by not giving you up hes letting you down which he also said he wouldnt do

**Feralchild:** so what would he do

**7:48am**

**Ihavethebraincell:** betty what le fuqk

**Feralchild:** you cant deny im right

**Martha <3:** She has a point Ronnie

**Ihavethebraincell:** ik and i dont like it

**Traffic Lights**

**8:06am 8th Oct**

**Goldenretriever:** Hey guys looks at my candle

**Goldenretriever:** image_19.jpg

[The image is of a white candle in a black jar on a pastel yellow shelf. The candle says, I wish I were a unicorn so I could stab idiots with my head]

**Grinchbinch:** :000 yeeeeee i love <3<3<3

**Goldenretriever:** <3<3<3

**Cornnuts:** I love

**9:47pm**

**Footballstar:** is it illegal to kill

**Grinchbinch:** unfortunately yes

**Ihavethebraincell:** what do you mean unfortunately

**Grinchbinch:** dont tell me youve never wanted to suffocate someone, hack them apart and throw their body down a manhole

**Cornnuts:** Heather what the fukc

**Grinchbinch:** what????

**Grinchbinch:** dont tell me youve never vividly thought about the best way to kil someone

**Ihavethebraincell:** no??

**Goldenretriever:** Pretty sure thats a sign of some mental issue

**Grinchbinch:** probably is

**Grinchbinch:** anyway i dont like talking about me so @Footballstar who you wanna kill ill help

**Footballstar:** i have been working on this course work for computing for 5 hours last night and it all got erased by that bastard emo kid who turned off my laptop

**Footballstar:** i was up till 3 in the morning working on that and now its all gone

**Goldenretriever:** Oh ye them i hate them

**Ihavethebraincell:** when you say bastard emo kid are you referring to jd cos i know you two dont get along well

**Grinchbinch:** you turn off auto capitalization

**Footballstar:** no im not talking about jd and ye auto correct as well it was annoying

**Grinchbinch:** finally we out number those with it on

**Grinchbinch created a new group chat**

**Grinchbinch named the conversation Lowercase Gang**

**Grinchbinch added Ihavethebraincell**

**Grinchbinch added Footballstar**

**Grinchbinch:** welcome to the superiors biatches

**Grinchbinch:** this is where we will scheme to overthrow the 1%

**Ihavethebraincell:** fuck elon musk

**Footballstar:** ye

**Footballstar:** wait wait search up who is the richest person in the world

**Grinchbinch:** image_20.jpg

[The image is a screenshot of google showing the elon musk is the richest person in the world but it shows a picture of Jeff Bezos]

**Grinchbinch:** googles on crack

**Footballstar:** smh its becoming bing

**Ihavethebraincell:** i cant believe it

**Grinchbinch:** im gonna have to change my default browser to firefox

**Grinchbinch:** image_21.jpg

[The image is a screenshot of the download page for firefox]

**Snurch**

**3:03pm 8th Oct**

**Martha <3:** I’ve never seen JD run this fast

**Feralchild:** bitch can run???

**Notasferalchild:** i am so fucking tense right now

**Notasferalchild:** over a m i n e c r a f t stream

**Ihavethebraincell:** oh fuck ye dsmp

**Feralchild:** ronnie i am coming to yours and we are watching this livestream

**Ihavethebraincell:** oki martha jd you coming

**Martha <3:** I don't watch those minecraft streams but sure

**Notasferalchild:** ye

**Ihavethebraincell:** right cool ok do yall mind if i invite my wonderful girlfriend and the other two

**Martha <3:** I don’t mind

**Feralchild:** i dont trust your taste in women but go on i guess

**Notasferalchild:** ok then…

**Ihavethebraincell:** ok pog get to mine as soon as you can

**Ihavethebraincell to Cornnuts**

**3:08pm 8th Oct**

**Ihavethebraincell:** me martha betty and jd are hanging at mine you wanna come

**Cornnuts:** I have a feeling theyll give me a ‘you hurt ronnie and well kill you’ talk

**Ihavethebraincell:** probably

**Ihavethebraincell:** but were watching minecraft streams and which i know heather will want to watch and her and heather come as a pair at this point so youre coming to because i love you

**Ihavethebraincell:** and i want cuddles because im touchstarved

**Cornnuts:** Okay then but only because your the bestest girlfriend ive ever had

**Ihavethebraincell:** im the only girlfriend youve ever had

**Cornnuts:** And therefore your the best one Ive had

**Cornnuts:** me heather and heather will be at yours as soon as we can ily xx

**Ihavethebraincell:** ily to xx

**Traffic Lights**

**9:18am 9th Oct**

**Goldenretriever:** Finally got a day off from hell

**Grinchbinch:** hey guyyyyyyyyysssssss

**Cornnuts:** What the fuck did you do

**Grinchbinch:** so i may or may not have just ordered like $100 worth of worms on a string

**Grinchbinch:** so who wants some i have 360 on the way

**Ihavethebraincell:** make a curtain out of them

**Grinchbinch:** :000 ye

**Goldenretriever:** Ronnie dont temp her!!!

**Grinchbinch:** im already tempted

**Cornnuts:** Why when I’m about to go to sleep do you have to go and buy 360 fucking worms on a stings

**Goldenretriever:** Wh- why are you only just going to sleep

**Ihavethebraincell:** ok so yknow how when yall was at mine last night and after the stream ended we watched season 1 of whitechapel

**Grinchbinch:** yeah

**Ihavethebraincell:** well we watched the rest of it

**Ihavethebraincell:** all 11 hours and 15 mins of it

**Ihavethebraincell:** and we only just finished it

**Grinchbinch:** you absolute idiots

**Cornnuts:** Bastard

**Goldenretriever:** Guys calm down

**Goldenretriever:** Heather and Ronnie go to sleep

**Goldenretriever:** Heather idk you wanna play minecraft?

**Grinchbinch:** ye ill activate the server just give me a min

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> at this point ive given up on school and just watch netflix while writing
> 
> also while doing that ive realised most british shows are quite short  
> like whitechapel has 4 seasons with 3 eps in the first two and 6 eps in the last to seasons  
> bad education has 3 seasons  
> the office has 2 seasons  
> the inbetweeners has 3 seasons
> 
> this is like irrelevant to the chapter but i thought it was interesting so i shared it with yall


	16. fuck angst but its definately minor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Traffic Lights**
> 
> **10:26am 10th Oct**
> 
> **Ihavethebraincell:** holy shit its been 25 hours
> 
> **Grinchbinch:** fjgkhdgfjshkd
> 
> **Footballstar:** i wish i was able to sleep that long
> 
> **Goldenretriever:** H- how did your parents not think you were in a coma

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tumblr - yesterdays_worms

**Traffic Lights**

**10:26am 10th Oct**

**Ihavethebraincell:** holy shit its been 25 hours

**Grinchbinch:** fjgkhdgfjshkd

**Footballstar:** i wish i was able to sleep that long

**Goldenretriever:** H- how did your parents not think you were in a coma

**Ihavethebraincell:** my parents probably just came into my room every once in a while

**Ihavethebraincell:** in other news they probably also know me and heather are dating so thats fun

**Footballstar:** are your parents ok with it

**Ihavethebraincell:** oh yeah my mums sister is bi and no one in the family has a problem with her or her wife

**Grinchbinch:** we stan lesbian aunts

**Goldenretriever:** Yasss

**Cornnuts:** Wassupppppp fuckerssssss

**Cornnuts:** I have just slept for the longest i think i have ever

**Cornnuts:** And now i know what normal people who get a good amount of sleep feel like

**Ihavethebraincell:** i envy them

**Grinchbinch:** lmao imagine being a functional human being that partakes in societal normalities

**Footballstar:** sucks to be them but were different

**Goldenretriever:** Im convinced you lot are a different kind

**Grinchbinch:** we prolly are and by extension you are

**Goldenretriever:** … 

**Snurch**

**12:27pm 10th Oct**

**Feralchild:** gotta love that feeling when like every adult youve ever met has called you an idiot at some point

**Feralchild:** even paramedics

**Martha <3:** :(

**Martha <3:** You’re not an idiot Betty

**Martha <3:** Also aren’t paramedics supposed to be kind and understanding

**Martha <3:** And not tell their patients their idiots

**Feralchild:** well i dont think this one got the memo

**Notasferalchild:** what did you even do

**Feralchild:** it was stupid

**Feralchild:** and you lot probably dont wanna know how much of a screw up i am

**Ihavethebraincell:** betty we dont care what you did we just want to make sure your ok

**Feralchild:** but i did something even like a small child would know not to do

**Martha <3:** Betty incase you didn’t realise we’re all stupid

**Martha <3:** Like I really don’t understand maths for the life of me

**Martha <3:** Ronnie has no common sense

**Martha <3:** Or at least none that I’ve seen

**Martha <3:** And just yesterday I saw JD almost get hit by a car

**Notasferalchild:** only cos i have to have my headphones on full blast to hear them so i didnt notice that car

**Feralchild:** i ate a poisonous plant

**Ihavethebraincell:** im sorry what

**Feralchild:** in my living room we have a pot of english ivy and i thought itd be a good idea to eat some of it

**Notasferalchild:** betty im actually curious for what went on in your head for that to happen

**Feralchild:** i used to eat grass as a child so i just thought itd taste the same

**Martha <3:** Why

**Feralchild:** IDK

**Ihavethebraincell:** this is honestly very on brand for you

**Feralchild:** i know and i feel like SHIT

**Traffic Lights**

**5:48pm 10th Oct**

**Grinchbinch:** GAWS

**Goldenretriever:** GAWS

**Cornnuts:** The fuqk

**Footballstar:** gaws

**Grinchbinch:** WERE ALL GAWS HERE

**Cornnuts:** What is gaws???

**Goldenretriever:** Gaws is gaws

**Footballstar:** gaws is unexplainable

**Ihavethebraincell:** cmon love you should know what gaws is

**Cornnuts:** Ronnie my love the light of my life please dont join them

**Cornnuts:** Dont join the dark side

**Ihavethebraincell:** its to late

**Ihavethebraincell:** i have a red lightsaber

**Cornnuts:** NOOOOOOooooooo

**Ihavethebraincell:** >:)

**Footballstar:** awww look at the gaws

**Cornnuts:** Im going to make ur chest cavity a full body cavity

**Grinchbinch:** festive

**Goldenretriever:** Give me a G

**Grinchbinch:** G

**Ihavethebraincell:** G

**Goldenretriever:** Give me a A

**Footballstar:** G

**Footballstar:** A

**Grinchbinch:** A

**Goldenretriever:** Give me a W

**Ihavethebraincell:** W

**Grinchbinch:** W

**Footballstar:** W

**Goldenretriever:** GIVE ME AN S

**Grinchbinch:** S

**Footballstar:** S

**Ihavethebraincell:** S

**Goldenretriever:** GAWS

**Grinchbinch:** GAWS

**Ihavethebraincell:** GAWS

**Footballstar:** GAWS

**Cornnuts:** You all are a different fucking breed

**Cornnuts:** At least tell me what it means

**Grinchbinch:** gaws means gaws

**Cornnuts:** Tell me

**Grinchbinch:** i have

**Cornnuts:** i really fucking hate you sometimes

**Grinchbinch:** well i strive to impress

**Lowercase Gang**

**6:33pm 10th Oct**

**Footballstar:** sometimes i wish i had the stella moustache wyoming has

**Grinchbinch:** ikr like seriously i would kill for his facial hair

**Ihavethebraincell:** whos wyoming???

**Footballstar:** this hoe

**Ihavethebraincell:** oh my god yess

**Ihavethebraincell:** he has a brilliant moustache

**Footballstar:** he does

**Grinchbinch:** wait ronnie have you ever watched rvb

**Ihavethebraincell:** no…

**Grinchbinch:** bitch tomorrow i am forcing you to mine so i can force you to start watching rvb

**Footballstar:** imma join yall

**Grinchbinch:** we can heather and heather watch it as well

**Footballstar:** :0000 yasss

**Grinchbinch:** yasss

**Snurch**

**1:29am 11th Oct**

**Notasferalchild:** i want to fight god

**Feralchild:** smae

**Ihavethebraincell:** gotta love having religion forced on you by your elementary school :))))

**Feralchild:** ikr

**Feralchild:** sherwood catholic school was a wonderful place

**Feralchild:** that definitely didnt leave a chunk of our grade with some form of trauma/s

**Ihavethebraincell:** yep :))))

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> rvb is one of my comfort shows and i was gonna mention it at some point  
> also gaws is an inside joke among my friends so to explain  
> on jojo siwas coming out post someone said that swag backwards was gay  
> its not its gaws  
> so gaws was born  
> its said like gways or as my friend likes to say 'gays with a speech impediment'


End file.
